[Octavarium]

This is my first post here, and I honestly haven't been on this site before today. The thing is though, I really need support right now, and I was doing a search online for different forums and places I could talk about this kind of thing in, and I found this. Let me explain my situation so you all understand where I'm coming from. I admit that before this just ending summer started I was suicidal, I honestly didn't think I could make it, well not to long before I was planning on doing something I met someone. This someone was at a party my sister had for graduation and we got on immediately. I decided to hold things off because I was curious where things with her would go. After talking for a few weeks we decided to date. This went on happily for a few months, however disaster struck. After my by then girlfriend got back from a couple week long trip to a different state she started getting really close to me. As in with marriage and all of that. After consideration with myself I decided that I had no issues doing that. We started making plans, and all that when suddenly out of nowhere she decided to push it back from next summer to when she got done with college. I admit I didn't take it very well, and it didn't help things at all. I was really let down because I honestly felt like I could spend my life with her. Now, a few days later she cancelled all long term promises she had made saying that she didn't think when she made them in the first place. Once again, I was let down big time. Well, a few days after that she broke the news to me, she didn't want to date me anymore. I would love to say I took it well, but I took it horribly. She started acting downright cruel to me after that, and started a fight inadvertently among friends. I lost my two best friends out of it besides her. I consider one of them a sister to me. They both didn't want anything to do with me when I'm so down. They both blocked and deleted any ways that I could get a hold of them online, and my now ex girlfriend did the worst. She did block and delete me from everything online, however she always went as far as to have a relative of hers come to my house, and threaten me with a restraining order if I didn't leave her alone completely. That hurt me, because I had barely spoke to her at all the last week. And now in review, I've lost my best friends, and the love of my life, and I couldn't feel worse. Please, someone help me if you can. I don't want to do anything I'd regret, but I can't live without the people I lost. I'm so confused...

[shell4429]

Hello, I'm new to the forum too and don't really have any answers. I just thought I would post a reply to let you know that you're not alone. This girl sounds dreadful and I can't understand what would make a person behave that way towards you, especially since you didn't reject her. I think it will blow over, you just need to try to stay strong in the meantime. Don't try to speak to her and concentrate on yourself.
Hugs,
Shelley

[justjoanie]

Welcome to PC. You have definitely found the right place.
I was in the same place you are a couple months ago. I lost my partner, and a couple friends because of the break up. She is now not talking to me at all, and like you, I just don't get it.
All I can tell you is that you need to concentrate on yourself. You need to heal yourself, and let her go.
One thing that I have found helpful is to blog. I write everything out, and get it out of my system. There are blogs you can create here on PC. That's where mine is. If you want to read it, it's under justjoanie and the name is: Learning to dance in the rain.
Something else to consider.... Go talk to someone about it. Do you have a therapist that you see? If not, it may be a good idea to find one that you can talk to. He/she will give you good advise on how to heal yourself, as well as give you an outlet to vent.
You can come here and vent anytime you want. We are here to listen.
I hope you stay on here at PC and find it as helpful as I do.
((((((((((octavarium))))))))))))
Joanie

[SophiaG]

If the relationship wasnt meant to be it wasnt meant to be.

Eventually you will move on...

I do urge you to find help for your depression though. Go to your general practitioner and discuss your symptoms with them. THey can help prescribe you a medication that may help you feel better. *hug*