[justfloating]

WOW. School is REALLY not set up for the depressed ... or anyone with a health condition, travel delays, or people who are not PSYCHIC.

I went to see my academic advisor today to finish registration for my courses. Because of the way my travel itinerary worked out, I got here after registration had closed and although I had informed the university that I was late, they are still applying a fee of 100 pounds to register. This is annoying because I emailed them to explain my situation and never heard back, and then my academic advisor wanted to know why I hadn't informed anyone I would be late. He asked me to forward him the email I sent to the registry so he could back me up if I was challenged on it, but I'm still annoyed. It's impossible to get hold of anyone in this place! At this point, I'm willing to pay the fine if someone would tell me WHEN and WHERE and HOW but I can't seem to get that information out of them either. My advisor even phoned the woman in charge of late registration and SHE had no idea what I was supposed to do.

Another example: My advisor has only been the academic advisor for a few days. The original advisor, who I ALSO contacted about a) my lateness and b) setting up an appointment to finish registering, retired an hour after I had emailed him and only got in touch with me this MORNING about it. That's almost a week late! So the prof who replaced him thought that I hadn't contacted either my department or the university about late registration, and NOBODY contacted me about the change in staff even though I went through the appropriate channels to get such information. On top of that, I found out from my advisor this morning that I'm ALREADY behind on my dissertation, which I was supposed to have started over the summer, when I remember being told last year that I wasn't supposed to start until the start of this term. Now I have about two days to put together a proposal and find someone to supervise me on it, I've missed at least one class this week because I couldn't get confirmation that I was actually in it (and unless you're registered you don't get updates about where/when these take place, since the timetable they post for the students is always totally wrong and everything gets shuffled around so muchthat by the end of the first week it looks nothing like it did originally).

I want to go back to bed, curl up in a ball and never come out. This is my last year of university and it's already starting out with more stress than I can handle. I think my advisor thinks I'm incompetent, I'm going to have to ask my parents for money AGAIN -- which they won't be pleased about and they're going to tell me that this is somehow MY fault even though I'm not the one who books my flights and I TOLD them I wanted to be here earlier -- I have no idea where I'm supposed to be for classes this afternoon and I can't find anyone to tell me, and I just want this all to END. During my appointment with my advisor I know that all my grades came up on his computer screen as well, and last year my grades took quite a big hit because of my depression, and thanks to this school's failure in communication, despite the fact that my counsellor contacted the department about my medical condition affecting my studies, none of my individual profs ever got forwarded that memo from the head of the department. So to top it all off, none of them really understand that I have a medical condition that affects my attendance and they probably all think I'm just stupid/a slacker/a class skipper. These are the people I need to write me reference letters to get into grad school, none of which can even talk about my work because absolutely everything here is marked anonymously.

I feel like my head is going to explode. This whole week has been incredibly stressful and triggering. I don't know whether to scream or cry or just curl up in a corner and wait for everything to come crashing down around me.

[Rohag]

((((((( Justfloating! )))))))

I read your complaint with sadness, concern, and amusement.

Let me explain the amusement.

My amusement was an amusement of recognition. Once upon a time, waiting in various lines at different university offices at the beginning of a school year, I read War & Peace. I didn't read from War & Peace; I read War & Peace.

Life went on, and it became my "privilege" to serve in and bump up against several bureaucracies. My summary impression: it's amazing how humans, in seeking order in service of a goal, manage to create chaos and organizations whose real function is their self-perpetuation. They also have a way of eating their young, too, but that's another story.

***insert frustrated, profane rant here***

Originally Posted by Justfloating

School is REALLY not set up for the depressed ... or anyone with a health condition, travel delays, or people who are not PSYCHIC.

Oh, how true! And it applies to far more than schools. I believe you owe it to your future happiness and fulfillment to beware bureaucracy. Let your writing passion lead you away from bigness and complexity.

[lotusflames]

rebecca, where are you studying?

If you're not getting anywhere with your tutor, you go tot see your head of department or whoever does admissions for your department and get them to confirm everything to you IN WRITING.

Don't worry about the dissertation, you won't be the only one i'm sure!

Take a big deep breathe

[Elana05]

Originally Posted by Rohag

My summary impression: it's amazing how humans, in seeking order in service of a goal, manage to create chaos and organizations whose real function is their self-perpetuation. They also have a way of eating their young, too, but that's another story.

Oh Rohag I so agree.

Dear Rebecca. The fact that you are dealing with this school admin. and all the registration stuff at all is mind blowing to me.
Two years ago I registered for one lonely class (chemistry) at the Uni where my partner was studying. The stress was almost intolerable. Back and forth in e-mails with professors and heads of departments, back and forth to like eight different offices, people who did not communicate with one another... all of it. So I really know where you are coming from. These people seem almost malicious!
Just keep pushing through dear one.
You deserve to be there and you deserve to finish your degree.
Keep in mind they'd most likely be reacting the same way to someone suffering from cancer or any other illness, as I have seen this happen.
With all of your stregth I urge you to make an appointment to speak with the Dean of your school. Tell them everything. You are trying your very best with all of the resources you have. Explain that you understand that rules are there for a reason, but you are not trying to break them, simply making the best out of an extremely difficult situation.
We will all be there with you, looking like this:

Elana

[so_punk_rock]

i completely understand. im 18 and i never finished 11th grade. my depression has kept me out of school and my anxiety keeps me isolated. its hard to concentrate on staying mentally stable and going to school at the same time. maybe when you get stressed out you can meditate. close your eyes and imagine you are in an paradise( or whatever paradise is to you). sometimes you just need to relax. i hope you feel better