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#1
Oct 25, 2010, 09:47 PM
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I ****ing KNEWW this was going to happen. I ****ING KNEW IT. But i didnt care. I just wanted some friends.I just didnt want to be alone anymore. I ****ing knew they were using me. I didnt even care. I guess I deserve it then. Uhhg. Why do I ALWAYS!! do this to myself. I feel like ****.I knew I would end up crying and they wouldnt be close friends anyway, WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do I always do this to myself. Why do I always have to be the subject of humiliation. I was finally feeling better. The depression went away, but now I can't even deal with the pain. I ****ing knew all I needed was a simple trigger to **** me up again but this time im totally alone. 
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#2
Oct 25, 2010, 09:50 PM
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Never alone.. you have us here
__________________
 How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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 findingmy_self95
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#3
Oct 25, 2010, 09:54 PM
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I still feel so used and backstabbed. And I ALWAYS do this to myself...
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#4
Oct 25, 2010, 11:39 PM
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What makes you put yourself in these situations? Maybe if you can figure that out then you can change the behaviour?
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#5
Oct 25, 2010, 11:55 PM
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I have barely any friends and its been like that my whole life so I subject myself to bad, mean, bad influencial and abusive people to feel not so alone, and accepted but I always end up backstabbed and it hurts the most because I know its coming but I deal with the bs to feeling content temporarily.
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#6
Oct 26, 2010, 12:19 AM
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true friendships are hard to make and even harder to keep.. I have very few friends. Wish that i could widen my circle but I am a little shy and well.. only seem to be able to strike up conversations with men or peole that I don't really think are fun.
Don't beat yourself up for feeling lonely..or for wanting to be around people to feel included. Is it possibly that you can join a gorup of club where there would be people with similar interests that you could hang around with?
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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