Overwhelmed and feeling doomed

I have a history of PTSD but have been sucessul, howver, I am now in a deeping depression after losing my husband suddenly and losing our house due to poor spending and deciosion making, Last three years, many strssors including mother being expoited by family meber which moving to our home, she lost her memory. Once placed in nursing, I became ill due to botched weight-loss surger causing internal bleeding with 5 emergency hospitalizations last two nearly died. surgery corrected but have not worked. Then husband aging and we fought and i shut down and stopped being responsible for bill paying and keeping house neat. Have ADD as well. Then husband passed suddenly 3 months ago and lost house. I am indigent and homeless with just a few helping out. Extended and immediate family not responding to my needs and old friends as they are judiging me as non-redeemable and refuse to help me. I have mothers attorney helping me by sayiing she will peition courts for money from estate but has not come through with permanent housing but placed me in an assisted living where I have no stimulation, no money and some people helping from time to time. I found an annuity but money not coming soon enough. Need permanent housing but cannot obtain due to no funds and attorney not coming forth with her promises. Feel I lost family. Have no use of my car and no internet access at where I am. It is the night time where I am confined in my room, cannot sleep and wanting to be dead I need more support and trying to help myself the best I can. i need to talk to someone who will listen.

I am so sorry that you are going through so much at the same time. Its no wonder you feel overwhelmed. I'm not sure what to say to help you get through all of this heartache. Are you seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist? Are you on meds? You should be. Its important to treat depression. I waited a very long time before i finally got help with my last episode and i shouldn't have because i did a lot of things i shouldn't have done as well. I let bills go too. I lost my car, let my insurance lapse instead of turning in plates and canceling insurance. Let my license go. Had no money coming in for a good while and my bf was furious with me. I just felt i couldn't move to do anything. I didn't care. I also withdrew from everyone. Now I'm upset at myself. I also lost my mom suddenly and became estranged from my siblings. I too felt I had lost my family. Please get yourself some help and continue posting here. Look into social services. Maybe you can get financial help while your waiting for your money to be available. Keep in touch with people even if you don't feel like it. Do it by email when you are able to get online, if you don't want to talk on the phone. I know you feel like giving up, i have been there. Hang in there though, you have money coming to you hopefully and things will start to turn around a little. Know also that you are not alone, others are going through similar circumstances and they care.

Hello, Gentlefinch. I hope your circumstances get better soon. Please continue to post so we know how you are doing.