[ssaturn]

Do you think it's better to try to think about happy things when you're about to cry or do you think it's better to just let it out and let the tears fall?

[ECHOES]

I think - for me - it's better to think about what it is that's making me feel like crying, so I can understand it more. Sometimes I can see that I am distorting something or jumping to conclusions or not allowing good aspects of something come to mind.

I also think that sometimes a "good cry" relieves tension and can help me to feel better.

What do you think?

[venusss]

If you have something to be sad about... let yourself. Be sad, ponder about it. Think about how can you change it or accept it.

[Leed]

For me, it's better to cry and then try to figure out why I'm so sad - and then do something about it. But first, I have to let the tears flow. It's cleansing to me.

God bless you - take care. Hugs, Lee

[Mustkeepjob32]

I agree. I think crying is such a cathartic. However, my partner often tells me to not cry when I start because it has never helped me in any way. I see where he comes from especially since I cry almost daily. That being said, I still cry if I feel I need to and it does "relieve" the built-up emotional pain.

Z

[sundog]

That's a really good question!! I used to think it was better to cry if I felt like crying, but then I had some experiences of crying so much and letting myself feel the pain so deeply that it scared me. I felt completely overwhelmed by the intensity of my grief and when I finished crying I didn't feel better, I felt worse. It was like falling into an abyss. So now I try and not let myself get to that point of no return. I do still cry sometimes, and I think it is important to cry. But I try and pull back before I reach that place of crying so hard and feeling the pain so deeply that it threatens to completely engulf me.

I'm just talking about my own personal experience here. And I'm definitely not saying that crying is bad!! Just, there's an edge that I try and avoid going over when I cry, so I don't fall into the abyss (if that makes sense).

Also, I don't think about "happy things" when I'm very sad. But I do try hard not to think about even more sad things. I have this tendency to torment myself with even worse thoughts when I'm already down. That's what I mean about going over the edge. So I try not to do that when I'm sad. Instead I just try and accept that I'm sad, without making myself feel even worse by piling on more sad thoughts and feelings (easier said than done!!!!!!)

[findingmy_self95]

Crying is proven to realease sad chemicals from the brain in your tears. Its good to a certain point, and good for frustration but if if self loathing tears bad idea, you might get into a cicle of bad thoughts and continue crying harder and harder so recognize why you are crying and if it will put you in a bad place or if you know you will feel good at the end

[ssaturn]

I also think it's better to cry when you feel like crying but sometimes it does make me feel a bit worn out..not to mention my parents hate it when I cry for no apparent reason

[Mustkeepjob32]

On reading the replies and actually now realize that Brennan and sundog have a good point. In my case there are times when I cry so hard, I start to feel even more helpless....as if the act of crying and letting it out is pushing me even lower towards despondency. But once you get started crying, it's hard to stop.

Z