I've been holding on to a lot of self loathing lately, I have no motivation to do anything (even the things I love) and my diet and sleep cycle are all messed up too.

I just want to know how I can get out of this depressive funk that's messing around with me being able to enjoy a lot of things in life.

Medication isn't an option, (unfortunately) therapy isn't an option right now either.

[CliveWild]

{{{kaika}}}
I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. I share your problem with lack of motivation. All I can suggest is that you do anything you can manage. Even the smallest achievements can help you get back to something more normal. I should follow my own advice !! For example, I have been isolating myself. Even though it is snowy outside, I plan to get out for a walk today, however short. Perhaps you can find some small tasks that you can achieve. Don't over stress yourself. Recovery is a slow process.
Take Care ! I wish you a speedy improvement.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Just to clarify, is medication and therapy not an option because of lack of insurance? One time I asked my psychologist what more I could do to decrease my depression/anxiety? She said to "walk briskly." I don't do that hardly ever but that's my fault. The times that I do do it help me a lot.

Z

[Umbral_Seraph]

I wish I had some good advice for you... but I'm stuck in that rut too.
You're in no way alone, far from it.

@Mustkeepjob32: Even with insurance, it's just too expensive.

I'm just glad depression this round is manifesting itself as disturbed eating/sleeping/not enjoying things/isolation instead of my usual self loathing/sadness/hopelessness/isolation. This is tolerable, and the only real reason why I'm not ok with it is because others around me aren't ok with it.

[Rohag]

Hi, Kaika! And Happy Holidays!

Based on your history, how long do these depressive funks usually last? Is it just a matter of time, or does something -- anything -- have to happen before you experience relief?

[NuckingFutz]

Hey there. Wrote a similiar thread a few days ago. I stayed on here and got some really good feedback and encouragement. It helped lift the depression a bit.

Just sending you warm safe hugs and permission to depressed even if others aren't okay with that. Let that be their struggle, you have enough on your plate.

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hi, Kaika! And Happy Holidays!

Based on your history, how long do these depressive funks usually last? Is it just a matter of time, or does something -- anything -- have to happen before you experience relief?

It feels like each episode lasts a couple of weeks, then there is a time of some reprieve, and then another episode.

I just really don't like upsetting and disappointing people. You would think that would be a motivator to better myself (at least that's what the media tells you that's what it should do if you actually are about other people) but really all it does is make things worse.

Hello, Kaika.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/48485

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Kaika

I just really don't like upsetting and disappointing people.

Nor I. In my case, my desires to please and not disappoint others drove me into the ground.

Dear Kaika, may you never get to the place where you can't do your wonderful sketches and drawings. If you get there, may your time there be short.

[Mustkeepjob32]

You're right. It is so expensive. Sometimes I feel I could have open heart surgery for a lot cheaper than having just normal mental health care like medication and T.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( kaika ))))))))))))))))