[watwat]

I have "shopped" a lot of psychotherapists to try to find one I am compatible with, and I find they ask a lot of the same questions, which are often passive aggressive questions.

I complained that I don't have a lot of friends right now, and numerous therapists then ask me: "Have you ever had any friends?" Isn't that a passive aggressive leap of logic? Just because something is going badly in my life now doesn't indicate it has ALWAYS gone badly for me. Imagine if a person needed counselling for a spouse who died in a car crash. Would the therapist ask: HAVE ALL OF YOUR FORMER SPOUSES AND GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS DIED IN ACCIDENTS? That isn't even a logical question, so why is asking me about my chronic friendlessness logical?

I find psychotherapists are not very logical, original, clear thinkers nad many of their questions are PRESCRIBED QUESTIONS they are supposed to ask. THEY ALL ASK EXACTLY THE SAME QUESTIONS.

[Gabu]

They simply need to know exactly who they may have as their newest client and the questions are perfectly normal for them to ask. I never found it as a sign of passive-aggressiveness when I had to go through the usual rounds of questions, because I knew that they wanted to get to know me, and I don't think that answering once on a piece of paper to be forwarded to hundreds of prospective therapists would be considered useful. They are there to help, usually.

Yeah, there are some real bad therapists, but there can also be good ones. Just remember that these prescribed questions are there for a reason and they aren't trying to attack you.

[venusss]

There are people who struggled all their lives so this questions is a valid one. I think you are projecting here. They need to know about your background, that's all.

[ECHOES]

Your interpretation of "Have you ever had any friends?" contains a lot of aggression and projection. It's a straightforward question asking if this is something new for you or if you have a history of wanting friends but not being able to make friends. Defining the issue helps define what is needed to help.

Is it logical to make a statement about not having friends and then have such a strong reaction to your therapist's response? It can be. If the thought of trying to make friends feels intimidating, then talking about it can too. Talking about it might feel make a person feel vulnerable and might make a person feel like a therapist is going to have expectations of them that are too much. One way to get away from a discussion that feels threatening or too exposing, is to focus on some part of it with criticism so it can be demeaned and dismissed. Relief then comes from avoiding the uncomfortable.

Yes, their education and training mean they may ask the same questions because those questions matter. They may ask them in the same way because they are trained to ask certain questions in certain ways. Your family doctor is no different.

[snapdragon928]

Shopping around and going from T to T is not a good idea. Yes, they have to ask those questions, and no it's not passive aggressive, it is a very reasonable question. You need to look at the fact of what you are avoiding by switching therapists all the time. This is not healthy behavior.