[Dark_Dreams]

I don't know if that is exactly what I mean but it is the best I can come up with at the moment.

Have been slowly slipping into a pretty severe depression for a while which resulted in one hell of a crash. Have been fighting for quite some time just to breathe and keep myself alive. But right now I am not feeling all that terribly depressed. More numb. I don't know ig this is the post depression numb or not. Maybe I am starting to work my way out of it and I am just in self protection mode so I am numb to anything. Or maybe I am so deep in a depression that I can't feel anything any more.

Don't get me wrong. Right now I am totally ok with the supreme numbness. I usually don't like it but considering where my mind has been lately it is a nice change of pace.

I guess I just wonder if anyone else experiences this and maybe has some insight

[Mustkeepjob32]

I think I've experienced this numbness that you are talking about. But I always wonder if it's a kind of break in the sadness, like an "intermission." Or I wonder that I've gotten better for a while. But then if I were better, I shouldn't be "numb." Good question.

Z

Hello, Dark_Dreams. After years of practice, I am fairly good at blocking what is bothering me from my consciousness. Inevitably there comes a day when I get hammered with the reality my concerns have not gone away and are even more burdensome.

Dealing with severe depression is hard and exhausting. You likely need the respite to rejuvenate. Just the same, there remains work to be done.

Good luck.

[Dark_Dreams]

That's pretty much what my mind is thinking.

If it is an intermission then that means there is more to come and I have been fighting very hard and I don't know if I wanna anymore.

If I am getting better then like you, I shouldn't be numb.

One thought that crossed my mind is that maybe I am getting better but the depression was so taxing that my emotions are taking a break before trying to keep working and moving forward. If that is the case I am ok with it.

Yes there remains work to be done. I am soooo totally aware of that and sometimes it scares me but I am not so scared that I am giving up. Yes it will suck from time to time but I also know it won't be that way forever (even if it feels like that at the time)

[Dark_Dreams]

On the topic of work to be done, I am in a strange way looking forward to it. I know that working will sometimes feel like crap. The fact that i am looking forward to it makes me wonder. Does it mean that I am looking forward to the pain because it is something I know? Or does it mean that I am looking forward to the day when it doesn't hurt anymore?

Personally I think it is the second one

(((( Dark_Dreams ))))

Perhaps you want to get better and are willing to endure the pain to desensitize it?

[invisigirl]

for me, personally, the more depressed I get, the more numb I get. I get so depressed that I can't handle it and I 'numb out'. does that make sense?

[Rohag]

I consider my numbness, which is always accompanied by apathy, as an integral part of my personal experience of depression. In other words, my depression doesn't always or even often involve classic "down" feelings. Those feelings explosively surface on occasion, so I know they're there.

I'm glad your current numbness is giving you a break from more severe depressive symptoms.

[Mustkeepjob32]

I think it means you believe that doing the work to try to get better will pay off large dividends. If you believe then I think you will achieve it.

Z

Ahhhh....Post depression numbness.How very well I relate.I do believe ...at least for myself...after an active period of the crying,sad focus,and delving within....there comes a numb aftercourse.For myself....idk how close it comes to a new downward line...but it certainly comes directly after the spiral.I interpret this as a healing phase where the body has been spent and must regroup and recharge.But that is just myself.I certainly hope dark....that you are picked back up by a lovely upward breeze and carried on a peaceful wind.((((Darkdreams))))....I hear you....~WO.olf~

[Dark_Dreams]

At the moment, I interpret it as a different level of depression. Not at the same severity as the deep spiral pit of hell depression but a level of depression none the less.

[Gently1]

Numbness for me equals total depletion of energy.
A flatness on a high plateau, where looking over the edge without judgement, can help me find which way to go in the future.

It does seem like a rest break, but there is nothing there to stay for, and I think of it as a deeper depression condition, and when I start to care again I almost 'miss' the days of flat numbness. I understand it is the stress chemicals in our bodies is over whelming our system, and even though I look like I am not moving, just gettting out of bed is a marathon.

I watch this lecture often to remind me that depression is common.
Depression is complicated.
G1