[lilacbutterfly]

I feel bad. Really bad. Maybe the worst I've felt in my life. And I can't make myself do anything. They adjusted my meds about two weeks ago - I'm hoping that means that they still might have more of an effect.

I need to go grocery shopping. I have barely any food. I actually went yesterday and almost fainted in the middle of the store and ended up in the ER, so now I STILL have no food (well, nothing vaguely healthy). And it took me three days to work myself up to going to the store that time, so I don't know how I'm supposed to ever make myself go again.

I asked my dad to come visit from out of state for a few days just because I'm really not sure I'm going to be able to make myself shop and I figured that maybe if he came I could force myself to do it. Now I think maybe it was a bad idea because I'm not going to be very good company to be around.

And my therapist is sick and canceled. I feel really overwhelmed by life. REALLY overwhelmed. Just got out of the hospital a week ago for suicidality. Am I expecting too much from myself at this time right now? I usually get everything done. But I just feel so low and so awful and so horrible that it's hard to make myself do anything.

Can anyone relate? Solutions?

[ayana95]

Originally Posted by lilacbutterfly

I feel bad. Really bad. Maybe the worst I've felt in my life. And I can't make myself do anything. They adjusted my meds about two weeks ago - I'm hoping that means that they still might have more of an effect.

I need to go grocery shopping. I have barely any food. I actually went yesterday and almost fainted in the middle of the store and ended up in the ER, so now I STILL have no food (well, nothing vaguely healthy). And it took me three days to work myself up to going to the store that time, so I don't know how I'm supposed to ever make myself go again.

I asked my dad to come visit from out of state for a few days just because I'm really not sure I'm going to be able to make myself shop and I figured that maybe if he came I could force myself to do it. Now I think maybe it was a bad idea because I'm not going to be very good company to be around.

And my therapist is sick and canceled. I feel really overwhelmed by life. REALLY overwhelmed. Just got out of the hospital a week ago for suicidality. Am I expecting too much from myself at this time right now? I usually get everything done. But I just feel so low and so awful and so horrible that it's hard to make myself do anything.

Can anyone relate? Solutions?

I am feeling sad. I am separated from my live in boyfriend for a while. I also haven't muster up the energy to shop for groceries. I had to pay my rent. I am very lonely I am so used to having my boyfriend around. Give your meds a chance to work. I hate medication changes. It takes a while for it to take effect. I hope you feel better soon.

[Rohag]

Hello, Lilacbutterfly!

Originally Posted by lilacbutterfly

I feel bad. ... I can't make myself do anything.

Yes, I can relate to deep feelings of helplessness, confusion and the inability to move oneself (I like to call it "volitional collapse"*).

Originally Posted by lilacbutterfly

Just got out of the hospital a week ago for suicidality. Am I expecting too much from myself at this time right now?

My opinion based on limited information: Yes.

Originally Posted by lilacbutterfly

I asked my dad to come visit from out of state for a few days...

Probably a good call. Try not to feel like you need to be good company. Try to allow yourself to recover and readjust.

*Unfortunately, "volitional collapse" is used by some to mean loss of the will to live. In my case, it's loss of the ability to will things, to want things, to self-mobilize.