[Elana05]

I know depression is different for people but I was wondering if anyone could relate to acting this way?
I move very slowly and make as little noise and action as possible. Every noise and excessive action makes me cringe/exhausts me. I tiptoe around my own house.

[Rohag]

Hi, Elana05! Depression slows me down in general, but usually not as severely as you describe. However, when I've been startled, triggered or had an "episode," my post-event recovery does involve significant slowdown. Sometimes the recovery takes longer (hours), sometimes less (minutes).

Unrelated to the above, I sporadically experience elevated anxiety when exercising or exerting myself. I speculate my nervous system is interpreting the raised heart rate as evidence of a (non-existent) threat. In other words, my brain seems to be viewing things backwards, assuming a stimulus (threat) from a response (raised heart rate). At these times I may experience some automatic slowdown.

Might it be possible your depression compels you to tiptoe around yourself for protection?

I'm puzzled at myself, too.

[googley]

Hi Elana.
I've never been that slowed down. But I have been slowed down and exhausted by having to do things. Psychomotor retardation (slowing down) is an actual symptom in the DSM of depression. This sounds like what you may be experiencing. You might want to look it up and see if it fits.

[Elana05]

Thanks Rohag and Googley.
The part that I think is notably odd is, not just slowing down but also feeling especially deliberate. Everything has to be just so. If I have to set down a pan I do it so slowly and carefully because I don't want it to make any noise. It's like I don't want to disrupt anything because I already feel so bad. It usually passes by evening.

[Gently1]

Hi Elana05,

I have been slowed down times, and for me it is even though I am slow I am also distracted, accident prone, and it just feels 'better' to pay attention as when I have tried to ignore and go faster, there ends up with more noise, mess and confusion and discomfort. The noise feels like migraine pain noise, and the dropping of a spoon sounds like a pot ringing.

thanks for the question, food for thought, wonder if science can connect the dots?
G1

[justfloating]

I definitely experience that slowdown, although I didn't actually notice it in myself until my counselor pointed it out to me. But yes, I do move very slowly when I'm depressed, mostly because even the smallest motion seems to require a huge amount of effort. I also hate making noise of any kind -- heavy footsteps, setting things down and having them bang together, slammed doors, etc. I have almost always been this way, as loud noises -- even when I'm the one causing them -- put me on edge. I'm not entirely sure if it's depression related or if it's something else. Definitely gives me something to think about though.

[shezbut]

Elana05,

Yes ~ I am very sensitive to sound normally. But this sensitivity to everything does intensify when I'm battling deep lows. These are also times when de-personalization occurs for me. I feel very removed from myself: every moment spent talking or moving is disturbing to me. It is like nails on a chalkboard.

((hugs))

[madisgram]

hi elena, sometimes i do this cause i can't tolerate any stimulation even if it's my own.

[Elana05]

Thanks everyone...

It is helpful to share and hear the ways in which you all experience something sort of similar; in moving slowly or attempting to avoid stimulation. I agree, it sounds familiar to the way I hear people describe a migraine.

I looked at some of the definitions to the two words which really stand out to me. The words I looked at were deliberate and careful, how I feel on the days that depression really affects me. It is interesting to see where the definitions go...

Deliberate:

think about carefully; to weigh
thought out in advance
done on purpose; intentional slowness.

Careful:

cautiously attentive, exercising caution, full of cares or anxiety
attentive to potential danger, error or harm
full of care or grief; sorrowful, sad
full of cares or anxiety; worried, troubled
conscientious and painstaking; meticulous