[LovieMac]

My husband is extremely depressed. I want to help him but don't know how. He doesn't go anywhere, talk to anyone or do anything (in or out of the house). I need some direction to help him get over his worthlessness.

[turquoisesea]

Hi there LovieMac and to PC.

My first thoughts are more of questions. Is your husband seeing a therapist and/or doctor about this? How long has this been going on, did anything prompt these feelings/lack of action?

As a depressed person who is currently living with her boyfriend, I can see this from the other angle. I remember, when I was really depressed, my boyfriend literally PICKING ME UP, and carrying me out the door to get sunlight. It must have been so frustrating for him, that even then my mood would stay low. That was at my worst.

Having been THERE, here is my advice, and ideas:

1. First and foremost remember you can only do so much. Your husband is the one who needs to start taking steps - and this will be very difficult to watch
2. see if you can get some outside help, with a therapist or if you cannot afford one another friend or two, either yours or his
3. Push, but don't push too hard. Simple, very simple things can feel like huge mountains that can never be climbed when you are depressed. If you husband is facing depression, you'll want to take baby steps. Make him get out of bed just for 10 minutes, try to get him to go on a walk with you in a park (sometimes sunlight helps), have a tv watching night/movie where you have to sit in a different location than he normally would to break up the routine. Be gentle but firm, if you can.

4. this is a repeat - but ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS take care of YOU. No matter how much you love and care for him, you can do nothing if caring for him drains everything out of you. If you need help with this ask for it, come here and post more, call a therapist , etc.

Nice to meet you, hope to see more posts and good luck!