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Old Feb 10, 2011, 07:51 PM
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Tivity Tivity is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2011
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Usually my depression likes to manifest itself as a constant state of either constant indifference or meloncoly. today is one of my low days

I got to sleep in today but I awoke to an angry and upset fiance who had enjoyed another bad night of night terrors involving me cheating lying and otherwise being a *****. Unfortunatly these dreams are brought on by his real life fears and therefore, it's my fault since I am giving him reasons to be suspicious by being distant and 'weird'. So he spent the morning angry at me. I was suppoed ot clean the house today but got called into work because someone was a no show. I then got an earful when i got here from the new manager because I left some stuff out on the counter. Which i DIDN'T take out and how am i suppose to know what to do if no one tells me. She's changed so many things I have no Idea what goes where anymore (shes been here two weeks)

My parents are mad at me, I have no friends. I feel like everyone wants something from me. My parents and ex friends want my attention and my fiance is feeling like our relationship is falling apart and so wants me to be strong and normal and tell him everythings ok. I don't have the emotiuonal reserves to keep picking myself up.

As you can imagine I'm super stressed, my fiance just called and when I sounded stressed out he said 'what the hell is worng with you?" I said that I was feeling run down, since I'm worn out its been busy at work and I have to stay up late tonight cleaning the house and his reply is 'Ok cause you ssut sound distant and sh***y with me."

I have no one to lean on...no one who just wants to listen and doesn't want to tell em how much I suck or want me to hold them up.

Psych Central, you are my only reprieve, my secret safe place where I can go between lattes and when i am home alone, empty in the dark.

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  #2  
Old Feb 10, 2011, 07:53 PM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
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Yep sounds like a crappy today to me. I hope tomorrow is lots better.


Today is a bad day
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  #3  
Old Feb 10, 2011, 10:01 PM
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FFABD FFABD is offline
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Hugs from all of us who've been there in that place you describe.
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  #4  
Old Feb 10, 2011, 10:35 PM
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whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
I'm sorry you're having such a bad day. Your fiance sounds like he could really use some help.
I hope tomorrow will be better for you.
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As she draws her final breath
Just beyond the door he'll find her
Taking her hand he softly says

For the first time you can open your eyes
And see the world without your sorrow
Where no one knows the pain you left behind
And all the peace you could never find
Is waiting there to hold and keep you
Welcome to the first day of your life

Just open up your eyes as I lay you down tonight
Safe on the other side
No more tears to cry
  #5  
Old Feb 11, 2011, 12:29 AM
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online user online user is offline
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Location: Michigan
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Wishing I could give you more than a cyberhug--you need a friend! Hope tomorrow is better.
  #6  
Old Feb 11, 2011, 08:26 AM
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Tivity Tivity is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 47
Thanks guys, even though I feel down I don't feel so alone anymore

My fiance does need help, I just wish I wasn't so weak so I could give it to him...
  #7  
Old Feb 11, 2011, 08:47 AM
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whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
Don't take it all on by yourself. Your fiance sounds like he needs professional help. Don't feel guilty, it's not fair to expect you to "fix" your fiance all by yourself. It's sweet that you care so much about him though.
__________________
As she draws her final breath
Just beyond the door he'll find her
Taking her hand he softly says

For the first time you can open your eyes
And see the world without your sorrow
Where no one knows the pain you left behind
And all the peace you could never find
Is waiting there to hold and keep you
Welcome to the first day of your life

Just open up your eyes as I lay you down tonight
Safe on the other side
No more tears to cry
  #8  
Old Feb 13, 2011, 12:34 PM
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craZgirl craZgirl is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2011
Posts: 22
his problems arent your problems. just because he has dreams abt u doesnt mean you are a horrible person like he dreams about. just remeber that there is always spring after winter and eveything will be okay. well, you will be okay. he souds like he needs help dont feel guilty because of him. you are a amazing perosn. dot forget that.
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