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#1
Oct 08, 2010, 01:36 PM
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I had an epiphany last night. I finally realized that a major contributing factor to my depression is my husband's hoarding. When I used to work, I could at least somewhat control what my work environment looked like, although people always said to me a clean desk is the sign of a messy mind. But at least I could keep it clean!
When we moved into our home 10 years ago, I told my husband that he could keep all his stuff in the garage and that I didn't want any of that crap in the house. Well guess what? It's in the house and has grown over 10 years. And, he also hoards food. Since I'm unemployed, I've started working on my "inner chef" and experimenting with food, which was making me happy. It gave me a sense of purpose and something to look forward to. But, I'm overwhelmed with all the junk that's in the kitchen/dining room and I can't get anything into the cabinets. That makes me depressed. I've tried and tried to get my husband to get rid of some of his stuff, I mean, do we really need to keep t-shirts from when he was in high school? I can't physically get rid of the stuff without him because not only is the stuff in boxes, but it's piled up to the roof. He may get his comeuppance when he realizes we'll have to sell that stuff in order to keep our home. It's unfortunate that it may come to that though. Well, I'm glad I had this epiphany!
__________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "A woman is lilke a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Quotes from the Great First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. |
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#2
Oct 08, 2010, 02:51 PM
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Wow good for you for spotting a problem now you have one more problem to solve.......
How to stop him hoarding anymore .... 
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 TL
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#3
Oct 08, 2010, 05:11 PM
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In the mean time for your peace of mind look at
www.flylady.net this site has been helping me with my depression, by teaching me how to organize my home, in a non stressful way. |
| TL
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#4
Oct 08, 2010, 06:23 PM
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whooops..well there is a gene identified with hoarding. not to burst your epiphany bubble
 but getting him to change won't be easy from what i've researched on the topic. number of other dx's come with this behavior. it's often times "arrives" after a great loss in the person's life. but then it becomes more than that. oh dear....hope he's willing to let you throw out things or give away. GO TO: www.mayoclinic.com/health/hoarding...and By Mayo Clinic staff "It's not clear what causes hoarding. Some researchers believe that hoarding occurs on a continuum — some people may simply be considered harmless pack rats, while others have a much more severe form of collecting that is life-threatening. The condition is more likely to affect those with a family history of hoarding, so genetics and upbringing are likely among the triggering factors." let us know how it goes... meantime bon appetit, chef!
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| Gently1, TL
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#5
Oct 08, 2010, 06:38 PM
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It's great you've made this connection! But I'm sorry you're facing this problem. It seems only fair that your husband should agree that certain rooms in the house are "off-limits" for his stuff. At least the kitchen, anyway!! I hope you're able to make some headway with this. Good luck!
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| TL
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#6
Oct 08, 2010, 06:53 PM
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I do realize how difficult it is for hoarders and I think I may have come up with a plan to get him to start relinquishing some of his stuff. I'll keep you posted. Thanks!
__________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "A woman is lilke a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Quotes from the Great First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. |
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#7
Mar 20, 2011, 02:36 AM
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One of the contributing factors to my boyfriend's depression is his mother's hoarding. It wouldn't be such a huge problem, except that he and I live with his mother. She has a storage unit, so that much of the stuff isn't cluttering the trailer, but storage units are not free. Us three moved last summer about an hour and a half away to the city, and it was very stressful to move all her stuff. My boyfriend got very frustrated that his mother would not throw anything away, not even broken items. It's very easy to just get angry and upset at her, and forget that hoarding is a mental illness just like my problems are illnesses... a hoarder can't just wake up one day and decide by herself to throw half her stuff away... wish that were the case though...
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| TL
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#8
Mar 20, 2011, 02:38 AM
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By the way, have you ever watched that Hoarders show on A&E?
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| TL
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#9
Mar 20, 2011, 03:10 AM
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I am a hoarder and I have found ThisSite helpful. I like to talk to others in chat and take 'chat challenges' as well as reading and posting in the forums there.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
| TL
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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