[AvidReader]

I've read some posts from various forum members, in various threads, about their positive experiences with hospitalization. I myself have been hospitalized, in two different hospitals -- two different states, even -- and both times sucked royally (please forgive the rather crude phrasing). In the first place, I lay on a cot in an empty bedroom for three days until my psychiatric hold expired and they finally let me go. The second time was moderately better, but not much. I don't consider myself as having gained any benefit whatsoever from either hospitalization.

I am now in yet another state. My therapist told me that yes, the purpose of hospitalization is basically just to keep the patient from committing suicide, so obviously hospitalization in my current location still is not an option.

I get so desperate sometimes, and when I start feeling like that, I get even more desperate because I know there is no help out there. Yet obviously hospitalization has helped some of the forum members here.

I addressed this in a previous thread titled "No Help Left," but it quickly fizzled. (Many thanks to the the two folks who did respond.)

I would really, really love to find out more about how hospitalization can actually help. If anyone would care to share their experiences, even just a few details, that would be so great. I understand privacy is paramount, so of course I don't expect anyone to share personal, identifying information.

Many thanks.

[walksinair]

Originally Posted by AvidReader

I've read some posts from various forum members, in various threads, about their positive experiences with hospitalization. I myself have been hospitalized, in two different hospitals -- two different states, even -- and both times sucked royally (please forgive the rather crude phrasing). In the first place, I lay on a cot in an empty bedroom for three days until my psychiatric hold expired and they finally let me go. The second time was moderately better, but not much. I don't consider myself as having gained any benefit whatsoever from either hospitalization.

I am now in yet another state. My therapist told me that yes, the purpose of hospitalization is basically just to keep the patient from committing suicide, so obviously hospitalization in my current location still is not an option.

I get so desperate sometimes, and when I start feeling like that, I get even more desperate because I know there is no help out there. Yet obviously hospitalization has helped some of the forum members here.

I addressed this in a previous thread titled "No Help Left," but it quickly fizzled. (Many thanks to the the two folks who did respond.)

I would really, really love to find out more about how hospitalization can actually help. If anyone would care to share their experiences, even just a few details, that would be so great. I understand privacy is paramount, so of course I don't expect anyone to share personal, identifying information.

Many thanks.

I was hopitalized once and the dr was useless the nurses weren't great either but they did have some good group activities that if taken from the right perspective could be helpful, also I did find that there were people who were sicker than me! This actually gave me some hope.

[Omers]

My Pdoc says all they do is mess up her treatment plans! She thinks the only reason for it is as a very last resort to stay alive.

[pgrundy]

I had a bad manic episode in January after being put on the wrong med by my GP. It wasn't really her fault, as I'd gone off all meds when I lost my job, even though I knew nothing good ever happens when I do that. I just couldn't afford them though and I had no insurance. So what was I supposed to do? I hoped it would be OK but it wasn't.

So when I got insurance again I went to my GP instead of a shrink, which was another mistake, and ended up in the hospital. My experience wasn't great or horrible, it was just what it was. Basically it was a place to be where I could be monitored while they got my meds right. I met some patients there who had really been through the mill and I admired their courage.

I guess another positive was that being there made me want to do whatever I had to do to never have to go back again. But it wasn't awful. A few stinky nurses, a few nice ones, lots of sick people. Some therapy groups that weren't that helpful, just something to do. Lots of food. (God, they fed us constantly it seemed.)

I hope you find what you need and get on a better track soon. I know how discouraging it is to be down and down and just not get better. Good luck!

[missbelle]

I was hospitalzed twice. Both were positive but the second was much more positive. All of us in the ward had some kind of depression/anxiety. The psychotic patients were on another floor. We all bonded and the staff was wonderful. I must say the food was excellent too and you could get a snack whenever you wanted. Yes, I really was enriched by the stay. It lasted about 14 days and I was very sorry to leave!!

[eskielover]

I have lost count of all the hospitalizations that I had between 1994 & 2002. Some just to see what help they could be for me, some because of actual suicide attempts, others because of feeling that way but not acting on the feelings....but landing in the safe place.

All my hospitalizations were in California & ranged from UCLA's psych hospital (before it was renovated after the 1994 earthquake) trying to dx what was going on with me...oh no, couldn't just be depression after loosing my career. Several times, it was a local private mental hospital that my pdoc practiced at....was there several times month at a time. I have to say that environment was the best of all. It could have been the length of time I was there, but it did feel comfortable & the group activities were helpful....including the ropes course they had.....but it didn't fix my problem....just got me through some bad times at that....but the people I was in there with had a close caring feeling that kept going after we left but stayed in outpatient treatment. It was attached to one of the community hospitals, but think it was a private mental health hospital. Unfortunately, it closed down several years after I started using it.

My insurance when I first started having problems before I got onto disability medicare, was really bad because it required me to only go to certain hospitals.....the one they forced me to go to was 100 miles away from my home & of course, that required an ambulance ride. I wasn't in a good place before I ended up there out of the medical hospital they stabilized me in, away from my own pdoc......so I wasn't in a good place when I was there either...lots of anger. Unfortunately, I ended up there a couple of times. The only one thing I really remember there was the animal therapy they had.

Finally ended that situation when medicare kicked in, & kept ending up in our local hospital. It wasn't good, but they did try their best to help. It was better being local & having my own pdoc that I knew & that understood me better than some jerk who thought they knew everything & were way off base trying to force me to take something that JUST WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

I had some difficult years during that time & I really feel more sorry for the hospital.....as one situation caused them to have to rethink their procedures.....but I landed in ICU in a coma on a breathing machine.

A few years later, I ended up having to change pdocs......ended up going to a different hospital but while there found out about another private mental hospital that was supposedly very good. My first visit there, I was given a pdoc.....we didn't hit it off well at all to start with. They suggested that before requesting a change that I sit down & talk with him.....turned out to be the best pdoc I ever could have had (go figure). He was in tune with people who had horrible side effects to meds. He did research on alternate treatments & was all around just the perfect pdoc I could have had....kept him until I finally left my husband & moved across the country in 2007. He also had a nice psychologist that worked in his office....& one of the hospitalizations that was dealing with abuse issues with my husband was when the psychologist was called in for me & my husband to talk to. He became my psychologist for all the rest of my years in California also. Looking back, he wasn't the best as he just listened & very seldom provided any feedback.

I had not been in the hospital for at least 5 years when I ended up going through a trauma.....scary part was that I was talking to my pdoc & psychologist the whole time I was going through the trauma. I didn't know exactly WHAT was going on, but was constantly expressing what I was going through in calls to them.....they brushed if off in that with the extreme weight loss I was going through I wasn't seeing things clearly......grrrrrr......turned out it was necessary to get AdultPS & the police involved & no, it wasn't that I was "not seeing things clearly". It was scary to live through but they weren't tying the extreme weight loss with the trauma because I had in my past been treated for anorexia. I was so traumatized by the whole thing & needed somewhere I could be taken care of for awhile. My pdoc could only admit me to a psych hospital....I walked in & out before ever checking in.....I just couldn't go into a jail like feeling at that point where I had no freedom to come & go as I needed with my mother dying of cancer. Turned out my medical Dr finally admitted me to the medical hospital but called in a pdoc & psychologist to see me every day. That also was a nightmare, but my whole life was a nightmare at the time.....at least I was somewhere I got care & could rest away from all the horrible things that had been going on. Had some problems in that it was the same hospital that my mother had been in & I freaked out a couple of times & ended up sleeping in the lobby on a sofa before they found me.

All in all, none of the hospitalizations have been horrible....I understand that cot in the middle of the room that I ended up on a few times.....but most of the people caring for us were very compassionate in every hospital I have been in. The groups were good even when I wasn't able to participate. The traumatic feeling of being far from home was a bit scary many times & I hated the feeling of NOT being able to leave any time I felt like I wanted to go....but the medical hospitals aren't that different. When being treated for asthma from a forest fire smoke, I ended up in the hospital 10 days because of a side effect to a med. One of the last times in the hospital, my Dr allowed me to go AMA because my weight was so low, the pdoc charted that if I refused to agree to a feeding tube, he would put me on a hold....but I needed to leave for my mothers funeral.....so my medical Dr looked the other way & didn't say anything to the pdoc about my leaving.....I was gone before the pdoc could put the hold on me.

There are so many things involved in being in the hospital.....I found that the times when I accepted that I was in need of help & was there really because I wanted to be there & knew I needed to be there went much better than the times I was FORCED to be there.....it's definitely a complicated situation, but most have been very caring people in the hospitals that I have encountered even when I wasn't feeling very cooperative.

[Gently1]

I was referred to a day treatment program, the choice was 4 weeks monday to Friday or the one I picked 2-3times a week. this kept me out of hospital and group therapy was such a support- you are not the only one! Among other lessons in group wisdom. Some were inpatients in the group.
for this I needed a referral from a Dr.

maybe you have something like this is your area?

I personally have only been in hospital for surgery.

[AvidReader]

I extend many, many thanks to those of you who have responded thus far. Really, I am so grateful. Thank you, thank you.

I'm wondering if one of my problems has been that I was hospitalized in two western, "stalwart" states, as opposed to a West or East coast state, where it seems psychiatric help is a bit easier to find, and of higher quality. I did not receive truly compassionate care in either facility in which I was hospitalized. Both hospitals combined psychiatric, full-blown psychotic, and substance abuse patients, all of whom of course are dealing with very different issues.

Right now I'm in the Great Plains, in another "stalwart" state, which has been awarded a grade of D by NAMI. Not encouraging.

What I mean by stalwart is that, having lived for years on the East coast and then in the far West and the Great Plains, it seems that psychiatric care is not as stigmatized, and is easier to find, on the East coast.

Again, many thanks.

[ladyjrnlist]

Day treatment can be a great idea. My experience with three hospitalizaitons in the past year has been as good as it can be. The hospital I go to has an organized program schedule of group therapies and activities during the day. That helps a lot. I guess a lot depends on where you end up going.

[online user]

I was hospitalized for 13 days around Thanksgiving last year. That limited my treatment days with my psychiatrist in the hospital, as he didn't come in on weekends or holidays but let his residents (he works with the local university medical center) cover for him. I saw someone each day except one when they missed me--the first day I was there, so they violated my rights as I was involuntarily commited after checking in voluntarily at an ER room. The psychiatrist gave me mindfulness tapes to listen to, suggested books to read for self-help, and I had one private session with a therapist during the two weeks. Everything else was "group"--they were activities or things led by the therapist. Like one session would be on self-esteem. Another might be on coping strategies. The group activities might be a game, or singing. They were designed to give us a chance to interact with others in the psych ward. They had everyone grouped together--substance abuse (they did have a separate group activity for them 2-3x a week), psychotics, and depressed/bipolar folks. There was a section for the more-severely ill and for the elderly with dementia in another part of the building. We had 1-4 per room, and only patients were allowed in the rooms. We were expected to go to group meetings and meals in the dining room and make our beds, take care of ourselves. We had to go to the nurse's window 2x day to get our meds. Visiting hours were limited to 6-8 PM M-F with 1-4 also available on weekends and holidays. One tech person was assigned to check on our whereabouts and health every 15 minutes, day and night, for our safety. So you left your door adjar so they didn't wake you while you were sleeping by the noise of opening the door to look in on you. The rooms were pretty bare, old hospital beds, etc. so there were no cords anywhere that you could use to hang yourself. No one was allowed belts or shoelaces or razors. You could borrow an electric razor to use in the one restroom off the lobby only. I had to listen to my tapes in a little office off the lobby; I could only take them to my room if there was battery life in the machine to run them. We had one large group meeting every day after breakfast, when we set a small goal for the day. There was one smaller group meeting for each of us, and 1-2 activity sessions, and the special SA sessions as well. Then a final large group meeting to review if we had met our goals for the day or share anything positive that happened after visiting hours at night.

It was reasonable care, but nothing that really helped a great deal. Not enough individual counseling. But OK to assess med changes, etc. in a monitored setting and allow a suicidal crisis to pass. Not something you'd want to return to.

[AvidReader]

Thank you all again for sharing your experiences and offering the encouraging words.

My first hospitalization was like something from a nightmare: They invited me in to view the facility and then LOCKED ME IN because I had vocalized a specific suicide plan (stupid, stupid!!) during the chat with the intake person. I received NO treatment other than one short visit from the head shrink; like I said in my first post, I just lay on my bed each day. They never checked on where the patients were or whether they ate. Food trays were left at the front desk for us to collect if we wanted to. Between the apathetic staff and the inpatients shuffling around in bathrobes, I felt like I was in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. If the episode weren't so humiliating I would report this facility to the state licensing board.

online user: The experience you described sounds exactly like my second hospitalization. I was frustrated, though, because the group therapy seemed useless (one involved watching a videotape about life at Rikers Island - wtf?), and the individual therapy wasn't to helpful either. Plus they had one schizophrenic woman in full-blown psychosis who was allowed to wander around and literally terrorize the other patients.

Gently1 & ladyjrnlst: Maybe I should give a day treatment program a try. There is one of those in my area. My ex-therapist (I walked out in tears in January and canceled all remaining sessions, but that's a story for another thread) has been trying to encourage me to try it for several months now. Of course, now summer is approaching and with 3 kids at home it won't be an option 'til fall.

Thanks again. You all have given me much food for thought!

[AvidReader]

Originally Posted by pgrundy

I guess another positive was that being there made me want to do whatever I had to do to never have to go back again. But it wasn't awful. A few stinky nurses, a few nice ones, lots of sick people. Some therapy groups that weren't that helpful, just something to do. Lots of food. (God, they fed us constantly it seemed.)

I hope you find what you need and get on a better track soon. I know how discouraging it is to be down and down and just not get better. Good luck!

Thanks, pgrundy! That's pretty much how I felt about my second hospitalization -- that is, I'd do whatever I had to do to get out of there and not have to go back. Maybe I just need a kick in the pants.