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#1
Mar 25, 2011, 01:26 PM
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Today when I went to walk my dog it was cold and windy and, as usual when it's cold like that, my eyes started watering. After I got home though, I felt sad, even though I knew I wasn't crying, my eyes were just watering.
I've been on meds for two months now and see my shrink this Monday for a follow-up. Most days I feel LOTS better and some days I actually feel happy, but I also feel like something is still off. I have bad days like this when I just don't want to move and feel like I'm not going to be good at anything I try. I've had a hard time getting back into things I used to enjoy, and this week I heard back from a very high pressure job I applied for and I freaked out and did not respond. The job I have is part-time retail and it took me a long time to get used to it. I just don't feel like I can handle starting over again, especially if it's fast-paced and lots of pressure--but I also feel guilty about that and other people seem to think I'm an idiot for not scrabbling to get picked for this harder job. I was in the hospital in January for 8 days and honestly I feel like I've not gotten my sea legs back--like I've been in denial for a long time about my depression so that other people won't be upset, and now it's kind of obvious that I'm sicker than I thought and I'm kind of in shock or something. That's how it feels--like, shocky and kind of frozen. Like I'm afraid to do anything--just paralyzed or something. Should I tell the doc this? I'm already on four meds. I don't want to be on a bunch more. I just feel like all my confidence has drained away. 
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#2
Mar 25, 2011, 02:05 PM
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It would be good for you to share this with your Doc, yes.
You were in hospital in January for 8 days, you know if you'd broken your leg and been in hospital for that, I'm sure you'd be a little easier on yourself. It does take time to start healing. Be gentle with you (((((((( pgrundy ))))))))) 
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
 AvidReader, pgrundy
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#3
Mar 25, 2011, 02:54 PM
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Do tell your doc, about the good days and the more-frozen ones. Sounds like normal ups and downs of healing. Doesn't necessarily mean more meds. The good days would more likely seem like you would be maintained on what you are on, rather than having new ones added.
Good luck to you! |
| pgrundy
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#4
Mar 25, 2011, 04:31 PM
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Always share with the pdoc. Thats what they are there for!!!
__________________
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich The road to hell is paved with good intentions. "And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper 
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| pgrundy
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#5
Mar 25, 2011, 04:40 PM
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Wishing you the best, pgrundy.
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| pgrundy
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#6
Mar 25, 2011, 08:04 PM
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January was not that long ago....I like pegasus's analogy to a broken leg. I think not responding to a very-high-pressure job offer was a very wise move on your part, so please don't feel guilty.
Best of luck to you, pgrundy. 
__________________
No one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned—Pete Townshend A beach is a place where a man can feel / he's the only soul in the world that's real—The Who, Bell Boy |
| pgrundy
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#7
Mar 26, 2011, 05:10 AM
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Tell your doc - it might not mean more meds. could just be an adjustment of what you're on. Remember - you need to take care of you right now - don't put too much pressure on yourself. Hang in there!
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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| pgrundy
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#8
Mar 26, 2011, 06:59 AM
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Thanks everyone. I guess really January was NOT that long ago! (It was the end of January, actually, the last week.)
I think I'm just super careful of myself and a bit afraid of things going south again. I'm sure as time goes by it will get better and better. I'll tell the doc tomorrow and see what he says. Thanks again. 
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