[Marko20]

I am 20 years old, and here's what I've been through so far.

- At the age of 13, I lost my father (he was my best friend, my life line.)
- At the time I turned 14, my mother got sick from a serious mental illness. She was forcibly hospitalized in a mental clinic twice.
- My mother is uneducated, so I had to raise myself and my younger brother and sister. Burden of helping my family was totally on me.
- At the age of 16 I dropped out of high school even though I was an excellent student. I finished it part-time. (no any social life whatsoever, yeah)
- At the age of 17, I got domestic violence charge for having verbal fight with my younger sister. She was really p***** off at me, so she said to the police that I punched both her, and our mother. (which was total bulls***)
- Court sentenced me to see social worker for 6 months.
- My mother luckily got much better, but the court appointed her a guardian. He tried to sell all of her property and put our mother in a mental hospital again.
- At the age of 18, lady from the social service tried to put ME under psychiatric observation. She told me that we are going to visit a doctor... who might give me advice on how to improve harmony in my family... but actually when we got there, she said I must be put under observation. Doctor who done psychiatric examination of me said that it isn't necessary since I am perfectly normal teenager.
- At the age of 18 I also started to feel social anxiety.
- I don't have any friends whatsoever. I spend my days reading, riding bicycle, or watching movies.
- I've never had a girlfriend, nor I've been kissed.

That's short history of my life.

I retained hope though. Hope that someday things will be better. I always look for the good in people. I am a member of an NGO called "youth tolerance movement". I play piano and guitar. I compose pop/rock romantic songs and write poetry. Traveling is my greatest passion. I intend to start University studies this year (it will be sociology or law), and I plan my future and my career carefully.
But life keeps pushing me down, and stopping my dreams.
This makes me feel very depressed and less valuable. I really need somebody to talk to

[Leed]

Bless your heart ~ your life should be a movie!!! You certainly have been thru the mill in your short 20 years!! I'm so sorry you've gone thru so much.

But you have a LOT of years ahead of you ~ and starting College is going to open up new wonderful avenues to you!!! It will be a whole other world that you haven't seen. Believe me, you'll make friends -- just be yourself -- but try not to withdraw and isolate. Try to make new friends and go with the flow. If you're going to study sociology or law, you're going to need to be more outgoing & determined ~ and confident!!! We've got to get you prepared! LOL

Remember -- life CANNOT put you down and stop your dreams unless you LET IT. So don't give it a CHANCE to do it. Don't LET it. You've got to say NO -- you're not going to beat me!! You might have me down, but I'm not broken!!! Get back up and keep fighting! You WILL do this and you WILL make it to your dream -- afterall - this is America and anyone can have the American dream!!! Hugs, Lee

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Marko20!

You've been battered hard over the past seven years. The wounds may be deep. But, armed with an awareness of the burden of the past, you may be better able to realize your dreams, which, thankfully, you still have.

Maybe you'll find the strength to deal with depression and anxiety on your own. They might fade quickly in the transformative world of university. It is more likely, however, you'll need some assistance in healing and preventing what you've experienced from holding you back. You'll find instructors and counselors at university who can help you do that. I wish you the strength and courage to reach out to them.

You are right, though. You need someone now. Do you know what your options are?

[kebsfroggy]

As a frog of little brain I can't offer much in the way of advice. I do have 2 grandson's about your age and somewhat understand the things you are going through.

As far as the kiss and girlfriend part, if you get to be 50 and still are in that situation then you can begin to worry. Before then it probably isn't as big a deal as you have been lead to believe.

I congratulate you on your ability to maintain a positive outlook. Life does have a way of knocking us down and then tripping us when we try to get up. To still be able to see the good in people after what you have been through is an outstanding achievement.

My oldest grandson is a guitar player/song writer. For awhile in high school he had his own band. He had at one time wanted to attend the Juilliard School of music. However, as life so often does, his dream was put on hold for awhile.

The only reason I mentioned this was to show you are not alone. Life pushes a lot of people down and throws their dreams to the wind. Maybe it's just life's way of saying don't give up your dream but you have to find another way to get there.

Perhaps you can find counselors at university who will help provide face to face support. You are also welcome to express your concerns here.

I wish you luck
kebs

[finonaey]

welcome and i hope you find the support here that u r looking for.