Should I tell my parents?

I'm almost 21.
I live alone 5 out of the 7 days of the week.
I've been struggling with recurring depression for as long as I could remember- more specifically, dysthymia.
I've never even mentioned this to my parents. I've been seeing a counselor, who recently began suggesting to me that I should consider antidepressants.
Now, I figure I can be reasonably secret about it- that my parents don't need to know... But that in itself becomes a burden.
They don't take well with mental illness.
I'm still in college and dependent on them for everything though.
Should I tell them? Or can I do this without them knowing?

How is your relationship with your parents? If you have a good relationship with them and think they would be understanding, and maybe even supportive, then you could tell them. do they not take well with mental illness because they don't understand it? Are they teachable? It's really up to you, and how well you know them....my parents have been very adaptable. My husband, who really knew nothing about mental illness until he met me and also "didn't take well with it" is also handling it pretty well. Take it slow...maybe mention 'a friend" to start with...talk to your counselor about how to approach it maybe?

Good luck - it's tough to handle on your own but definitely not impossible, and you have us here at PC to help you through it.

Honestly? They won't handle it well because they don't understand it. They think depression is reserved for spoilt KIDS who have nothing but time. And that it can be shaken...
I tried to do the whole 'friends' thing, but that didn't work out as well as planned.
Thank you... I'm slightly worried, because even though I live with friends in college, it's really easy for me to disappear and reappear. No one really notices until I'm missing for awhile. *sigh*

I think you should tell them, for your benefit alone. Everyone needs support esp. from parents. Mine are the ones who have and still are helping me through my own depression. So tell them. That is my advice.

They won't be particularly supportive I almost assure you.

I didn't tell my family for many,many years, so I know how you feel. If you think it will set you back then hold off on telling them. Your mental health is more important.

Do u have insurance thru your parents? If so and u don't wantt them to know, make sure to call yur insurance company and have them send your mail elsewhere and make certain they do not call your parents about anything.

Crash&Burn,

I can absolutely relate to not wanting to tell you parents. My parents didn't really know that I have depression until I was diagnosed. My dad look at the paper that had my diagnosis on it but I am not sure that my mother looked at it. Even if they did see my diagnosis we never really talked about it. I have been able,more recently, to open up with my friends and family. I talked to my close friends first and then my cousin. Maybe if you open up with friends then you will have the confidence to talk to your parents. I know that talking with friends helped me. I hope that I can really talk to my parents, but starting with friends is a good start. As for medications, they may be a big help. I started taking wellbutrin during a major depressive episode and wellbutrin helped me to recover and begin to get my life back together. Good to hear that you are in counseling, keep that up! Good to see you again!

Best wishes,

Crazyman28

crash and burn - it might help (if you decide to tell them) to find some articles on the internet explaining exactly what depression is (frequently a chemical imbalance in the brain) and what the symptoms are - that might give you an opening to start a conversation about exactly what you are experiencing. I think sometimes when parents are shut off to the concept of depression or think things like it is "just for spoiled" kids it is because they are hiding their fear that somehow they played a role in it.
My friends daughter was suffering from severe depression and my friend wanted her to "just get over it". It wasn't until I shared some of my "stuff" with her that she really began to understand. Even now 10 years later, her daughter is happily married with a baby on the way, my friend says - I don't know what I would have done with her if I hadn't talked to you.
Some of it truly comes from not understanding and some of it comes from not knowing how to help...I think it would be great if you could share even a little bit with your parents - it might help ease the burden on you a bit.
Keep us posted, okay?

That's the thing though- I've thought about telling them. I've played around meticulously with the idea of telling them in generic conversation with them.... However, they're both very dismissive- and ridiculously educated... I've seen that it'll either rip our family apart, or isolate me, more than anything else. There will be serious repercussions that I can't handle, if they ever find out...

(((((((((crash&burn)))))))))))

It sucks that you're in this position right now. I know how burdensome depression can be when you keep it from your family. I kept my depression a secret from my dad for well over a year before I opened up to him, and it was the scariest thing I've ever done. It helped that my mother was on board though, and she was there with me when I broke the news. Is there someone you might be more comfortable having with you when you speak to your parents, like another relative or a friend? It could also help to bring your parents along to a doctor or therapy appointment so that a professional can explain the nature of your illness, as well as verify that depression is, indeed, a real illness.

The unfortunate reality is that some people are never going to be very receptive to or understanding of mental illness. There's a massive stigma against depression, and it's not fair but it's something most sufferers are faced with at some point. I'm sorry that your parents might not be understanding of this; it's always rough when you can't rely on your family for support. But the good news is that there are plenty of other people out there you can count on, people who get it and who are supportive and willing to listen. If you decide to tell your parents about your depression, remember that their reaction is not on you. You can't control how they're going to behave and you are not responsible for their negative views of mental illness. There are plenty of people in my life who don't understand my depression, even relatives, and at some point I realized that I couldn't spend my time trying to change their minds when I had more important work to do on myself. Make sure that you put your own mental health first. There is nothing more important than taking care of yourself right now.

Good luck!

... I would not tell!

I am in exactly the same situation, I have only told one person (who I knew was on antidepressants a few years ago) that I have started taking lexapro.

I really dont want to tell my parents as they are of an older generation and just dont understand the whole chemical imbalance theory....but if your parents are educated they should realise its a physiological imbalance, not a character flaw!

Let me know how it goes...