[dexter]

Ok, so my "friends" that I've tried to stay in contact with (but never hear from)

They know my current situation...

i.e. They know I am not going to work because I am ill
They know that my car was repo'd (so I have no transportation)
They know that I don't have money for my rx's and barely for food
They know that my arthritis is bad and at times I can barely move

So one of them gets in contact with me today and leaves a message saying "hope you are out having some fun!"

I am so ticked off and triggered by this. If they were trying to be positive, what's wrong with "hope you're feeling better" but it didn't feel like that. It felt like they are in denial, because it makes it easier for them to justify not giving me any support, contact, friendship.

They thought I was out at a nightclub, which I had been trying to do 8 months ago before everything crashed. I stopped that months ago because of money, gave up even the hope of it a month later because of pain, and of course right now it is out of the question because I have no transportation.

What are people thinking? Dumb? Insensitive? Selfish?

I want to let them know they they are overestimating my health and situation, but don't want to push them away even further...

Right now I just want to blow some steam.

[dexter]

Reading this again before posting...

So my friends think that an alien ship abducts me and drops me off at a fun spot, leaving me with enough alien cash for entrance and entertainment (and the club accepts alien quaatloos as legal tender).

Once there I float in a bath of liquid morphine so that I can dance with no pain. And I leave wearing a large false mustache and blonde wig so that if anyone from work sees me they won't wonder why I can go out partying but can't make it in to work. Well, duh, the workplace isn't filled with liquid morphine! FIX IT! Or I'll call the disability rights people... Ergonomic workstations, my *****.

At the end of the night I hitchhike home with a kind stranger. I can stick out my thumb easily because the liquid morphine bath has not worn off yet. If no "kind strangers" stop for me I am still OK because eventually the Friendly Care van will show up either 28 hours late or 49 hours early to take me to Partial Hospital.

Once home, I can't spend leftover quaatloos on food (because Pathmark won't accept them) but its OK because while I was out, little yellow elves filled my pantry and fridge with homemade pierogies, peanut butter, Challah, bagels and cream cheese. Fresh milk and eggs were left by the aliens from the experiments on farm animals they conduct.

And the heat from the thrusters of the space ship warmed my attic air when they took off, and the residual heat keeps me warm while I have no domestic heating in my house because I can't pay the oil bill.

I have also found that the funny looking alien with the glasses, Fontelray, has done all finished balancing my budget for me while I was out. Unfortunately, as their alien math is based on a non-euclidian, base 12 geometry, all of the totals are listed in their strange alien symbolic system, so most of my balances look like cartoon-strip curse words. I sigh and go to bed, because I will have to get up early to start over on them. But I thank Fontelray for the effort, at least he tried to help, put in the effort, and got me out of the house for something fun... more than any of the others did. But they can rest easy now, because they put in their mandatory phone message (whew! They missed me!!!) and they know (assume) that since I didn't answer that I am in good hands with a night out with the martians.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Dexter I had to lol at your title NOT at your post...Only 2 people on this site knows something major going on with me but all my friends...or so called ones do...and still I get calls or emails on THEM and their issues ..One called me to wish me a happy birthday but she went on and on and on about some issue in HER life....that was the real reason for the call IMO...One emailed me and asked why I don't answer her calls and all.....but she knows I am facing homelessness and the idiot expects me to call her long distance to chat on her company and her trip to Spain and crap...I think they are insensitive, in denial and just selfish...I have pretty much cut out 90% of my support to a lot of people I know who spend way too much time on their issues (and sometimes its saying the same thing 6 times over) ...I have noticed I hear from them far less....selfish idiots. I am also sick of the be happy and have fun crap....yeah like this is fun ...maybe as fun as or MORE SO THAN A TRIP TO SPAIN

[SweetSunshine]

Dex I am so sorry this happened! Some people can be so insensitive to others situations its not funny. I know you just want to smack them silly for it. And I dont blame you one bit! I would be furious too. I wish I could do something for you. You deserve better than what your getting out of them thats for sure. I dont know what to tell you about what to do with those friends of yours. I jsut dont think they deserve you . Your too nice a guy to be treated like this.

The only reason I can even think why they would be doing this is would they be having problems of their own in their lives? I know it doesnt justify things. But maybe gives some perspective on it? Just a thought.

Hugz~
Bethy

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Reading this again before posting...

So my friends think that an alien ship abducts me and drops me off at a fun spot, leaving me with enough alien cash for entrance and entertainment (and the club accepts alien quaatloos as legal tender).

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

lmao how true I had a friend a WEALTHY one ask me what I did for my vaction this year......duh.....

I feel for you Dex I really do...all I can say is try to tell them all one more time and then if they fail to GET it....well then you know they heard you loud and clear

[ozzie]

Is Pin Head similar to a Pea Brain? I had someone tell me the other day that "if" my hands started bothering me I might try this or that. They made this statement after I'd gone to great length describing to them how much my hands have been hurting all the time.

I think people are in denial about the pain others suffer. Many don't want to hear about it much less offer any kind of emotional support. I wish it was different for you and all of us. ((((((((((dexter))))))))))))

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Ozzie...Pinhead, dumb AZZ. pea brain they are all kind of the same....

[ozzie]

I know sleeps.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

OH LOL I just wanted to be 100% SURE....

HUGS

[quality_worms]

I think this goes back to something that you said in another thread about how people don't understand, but think they do. Maybe your friends think that if they'd been depressed and in pain for a long time, they'd eventually start trying to do normal things anyway. That doesn't make the things they say less hurtful, but maybe that's where they're coming from.

(((((dexter))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((((Dex)))))))))))))))))))))

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((DEX))))))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that this comment from your friend triggered you.

I can relate. When I was first dx'd with depression and panic disorder it was very hard for me to explain all that was going on with me to my friends. I think because of that some of them may have felt that I was just having a "down" period. To them, nothing major, I would snap out of it.

I think that it is more ignorance on the part of people not to truely understand what someone is going through. I dont think that they mean and "harm" but, in the end, it makes us feel like poop because we feel they are being insensative. Bottom line is, I dont think they really understand.

I am sorry this happened to you Dex.

(((((((((((((((((((Dexter)))))))))))))))))))))

time0

[dexter]

>>I had someone tell me the other day that "if" my hands started bothering me I might try this or that.

YES this doesn't only apply to mental illness. I have a close friend, an arthritis sufferer, her friends "sympathize" with her pain, but then the next day they'll call and want her to go to the mall with them, then get mad at her when she can't go "because of that arthritis thing".

>>Is Pin Head similar to a Pea Brain?

I guess so. Both have teeny tiny brains. But the "Pea Brain's" head is "normal size" so if you shake him you might hear the brain rattling around in there. "Pin Head" ensures a much snugger fit. Kind of like normal cut jeans vs. baggy cut.

[ozzie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I guess so. Both have teeny tiny brains. But the "Pea Brain's" head is "normal size" so if you shake him you might hear the brain rattling around in there. "Pin Head" ensures a much snugger fit. Kind of like normal cut jeans vs. baggy cut.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> What do you think would compare to boot cut jeans? lol

[dexter]

>> What do you think would compare to boot cut jeans? lol

Pin head wearing a turtleneck?

[ozzie]

lolololol