[dexter]

I did another big step for me today, regarding my fear of the telephone.

I had to contact the legal services office to ask if it was necessary to set up another appointment there. This is a weird issue, I am sort of "in the middle" (The Diversion Program wants me to make this appointment but I'm not sure a lawyer is appropriate for this... see the thread "Shaken, Not Stirred" )

So I dig up the lawyers card and guess what? She has a direct email address! So I won't have to call... and I can better explain this in writing anyway!

So you know what I did? I forced myself to make the call. I worked past my anxiety and just did it. It's not that I am unable to do this when I have to, I just avoid it, and would never do it when an email alternative is available.

She turned out she was out to lunch (it was way past "normal" lunch hour... I did not purposely call when I thought she would be out). So I asked if she checked her email regularly, and ended up sending her the info in email anyway. I did have the option to call her back when she returned from lunch, but I was just happy for making the initial call and thought I could better explain in email anyway.

Then later this afternoon I had to call my companies human resources provider to ask about my temp disability... which I have not heard anything about. Find their card, and once again there is an email contact. But this one should be easier... it is just one question... did you get my paperwork? Did you forward it to the Temp Disability agency? (OK so that's two questions.) So I called and got voicemail for our companies rep. His recording sounded mean and scared me. (Stupid... just the part where they leave a space in the standard message for him to say his name... and people OFTEN don't sound "like themselves" doing that, but hey it spooked me.)

So my instinct was to hang up the phone and send an email. And be happy, because I tried. But I waited it out and left a voicemail message. I did leave my email as a preferred way to contact me, I didn't want to overdo it and stress out if/when he calls back later. But I did make a good thing.

I also took a call from the woman from the Diversion program, still pushing me to set up a new appointment with the law firm (I told her yesterday that I didn't know when I would be able to reschedule, that would depend on my schedule at work which I won't know until Monday...) but I didn't panic and instead of just saying "yes, I'll call you when I know" I told her that I had tried to get in contact with the law firm to see if an appointment is even necessary. This is a huge thing for me. It is the type of confrontational thing I am terrified of and try to avoid... she's wanting me to do one thing, I think she is wrong, so I checked... normally I would wait for the lawyer's answer and then be able to say "gee I spoke to so-and-so and they say I don't need to come in again" because that sort of directs the responsibility away from myself. (that's me myself... not the forum member here )

But instead I just faced it and told her. Even though in my mind that was directly questioning her competency to do her job. (hell, I WAS questioning her competency, but also took the step to be proactive... I could have just let them set up another appointment, gone, and then find out when we got there that it was the wrong thing to do. Which is the road I took when I went there yesterday... but with the appointment snafu, I had an opportunity to be more proactive and do better, and I did it!) I told the caseworker that hopefully by Monday I will have heard back from the lawyer, know if an appointment is appropriate, and if so we can work from there on setting it up.

[jbug]

Wow Dex that is too cool. I'm proud of you. It's hard to do something you don't like doing and you bit the bullet and did it. Way Cool!!

Jbug

[BlueFaith]

That's great, Dex!!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((Dex)))))))))))))