[feary]

I love them so much but I cannot stand living with them ALL THE TIME. I am 39 and divorced with two kids 7 and 3. My parents are helping me out but they are driving me crazy.

I really truly appreciate all they do and everything but I just want my independence!!!!

I feel like a teenager again with the constant hovering, overprotectiveness, advice, lectures, disappointment, babying etc

I talked to them sooo many times about how I want to be left alone and independent and how they don't need to be around all the time because I am all alone.

They don't go places and cancel with people because they think they need to be with me

I feel such relief and so free when I have moments to myself.

I feel so guilty.

[Elana05]

(((feary)))

I have brought up things many times with my parents too. Sometimes it seems like they just don't listen. Then when I bring it up the 112th time, sometimes they finally hear it. Maybe if you keep saying it in a calm and caring manner they'll finally get it. I'm sorry to hear how it's driving you nuts... Many supportive thoughts your way. E.

I'm sorry things are so difficult between you and your parents. Im not sure how I can help you but PM me if you need me xo

i would feel the same way if i had to live with my parents again. My parents tend to smother me even though I don't live with them!

Keep telling them how you feel...telling them how you appreciate their concern too!

good luck!

[online user]

Can you tell them, when they go out, "Mom & Dad, I'm so happy that you didn't need to stay home with me, on my account. It make me happy when you are able to go out and visit with your friends, go to bingo, go to church, etc." This is sometimes better at changing behavior in a positive way than mentioning the things you don't like.

If you don't get these opportunities, you might say, "Hey, I appreciate all you have done for me, but I'm needing some quiet time alone for myself--it's something I've enjoyed since I've been grown and had kids of my own. Do you think I could "hide out" in the TV room in the basement alone tonight?"

Other cultures have more generations living together than ours. Our extended family isn't as healthy as theirs. I set goals for enjoying each of my family members more. Took a few years, but now that I'm in my 60's and the others are in their 80's (mom & dad), 60's (bro) and 50's (2 sis) I've accomplished that. For some, it's small increments of time only, with organized activities that occupy us so we enoy our time together. For others, it's just understanding they might have limitations of their own and are doing the best they can with themselves. I've become more understanding and forgiving, because it just isn't that important--they are my family, and they are still here with me.

Hope things get easier for you soon.