[ozzie]

My husband and I have been trying to help my son who is going thru a lot of stuff right now. This has been stressful for me and my husband for the past couple of weeks but my son has made progress and is doing better.

Today I was hit with a huge feeling of depression and I'm not sure why. It seems to really take a lot out of me lately when trying to help someone else. I've started feeling like I'm heading toward that breaking point again.

I've spent my life helping others and now I don't understand why I'm unable to do much of it without feeling emotionally drained. It happened a while back here on the site, and now it's happening IRL too. I will not be me if I can't be of help.

[Parker10]

I am sorry you are feeling down Ozzie. You have a wonderful way of supporting everyone on this site. You obviously have a wonderful spirit and heart.

Sometimes I think that we have to just take a step back, and take care of ourselves. You do not have to always be the giver - please be the taker right now. Let people support you. I truly hear you saying you want to be able to be supportive all the time, but you are recognizing that right now you cannot be as supportive as you would like. That is a good sign, recognizing this. Take some time for YOU. Keep asking for support when you need it. I am sure you will receive it here !

[SweetSunshine]

Ozzie ~
I understand what you are saying . As you know I was doing quite a bit for my dad. Heck my life basically revolved around him trying to do for him. After his stay here with us this summer, I had a long talk with my T. He'd been telling me to cut back. Cause he could see that I would get really down , I was loxing myself .I have cut back on what I do and how long I am there at my dads by about a third of what I used to be. I am gradually feeling good about my decision to do this cause I am taking care of me. SO maybe thats something you need to look at also? Are you taking care of yourself?? Are you losing yourself in the chaos of what your trying to help everyone with? Its just a thought . I hope you start feeling better soon !! Please take care of you!

Hugz~
Bethy

[dexter]

I understand how you feel Ozzie on both counts... the problem itself and on not being "yourself".

Can you identify any feeling that might be triggering this? Could it be combination of season and/or maybe weather? Are you taking meds? (Sorry I can never remember these things...) because maybe you just need an adjustment of dosage.

Are able to cope well with these bouts when they come on? That's the most important thing. Please take care and keep yourself healthy.

{{{{Oz}}}}

[kimmydawn]

Susan, I hope that you feel better soon. I'm glad that your son is doing better.

I know that when I help others when my own "resources" are too low, it's extremely draining and depleting of what resources I have left...leading to increased anxiety and depression.

Can you do some really special things for yourself right now...little treats in frequent doses?

I hope you feel better soon.

KD

[dottie]

Ozzie I believe I know how you feel. I became too ill physically and mentally to keep working. I loved my job...working with disabled kids. What special, special kids they are.

At the same time as I retired they were getting ready to close the hospital down. (Babe Ruth, years ago..helped with the financing of that super facility.) Before his death..he would come and visit with the kids.

They did a piece about him and the hospital on the A& E channel.

Sorry...I get carried away whenever I talk about it.

I just couldn't keep on. I was calling in sick quite a bit toward the end.

I had a dear friend who was an RN at the hospital. She was worth her weight in gold. Dynamite nurse, however she had to retire ealy, as well..as she was beginning to show sign of demensia. It hurt so badly to see that wonderful skilled nurse retire. We pitched in and bought her a nice rocking chair..as she had spoken frequently of getting one when she finally retired.

Yes..things that are out of our control really take a heavy toll on us. Somehow , we struggle to make it through to the next day.

You are a great person Ozzie...hang in there!

~TGC~

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((Susan)))))))))))))))))))

Thinking of you

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

(( Ozzie )) I have been having email issues all night and haven't been able to be on here much but I hope this posts...Helping is what you DO not just who you ARE...you are MORE than just being of help and right now it sounds like you need a break from helping you may have like burn out..I have been there...Step back..play games in here talk on you and take a supporting others break...You'll be back to the muli-tasking Ozzie in no time that way ..I hope and think......

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((((( Ozzie )))))))))))))))))))

it's so very hard to keep supporting when emotionally drained, I know, and I guess you must feel disappointed and angry that you can't, but maybe now is the time to retire as much as you can from the world and just concentrate on building up your mental resources

[BlueFaith]

((((Ozzie))))
I hope you are back to yourself very soon. Take some time for you... even as hard as it may be for you to do.

[Overcastbutclearing]

((SUSAN JANE))
I know how it can be when things seem to be getting better but then you are hit with a huge feeling of depression.
I hope you can quickly ease out of it!

[ozzie]

Thank you Parker. I'm going to take time for me today and go to lunch with my brother. We have always been good about supporting each other when one of us needed it. We'll have some laughs and some good food too. Maybe I'll feel better soon. I know I need support right now and I think you're right.....it's good that I've recognized it.

[ozzie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Are you losing yourself in the chaos of what your trying to help everyone with?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> The answer is yes. I often put myself last when trying to help someone else.....especially one of my kids or my husband. Thank you for understanding Tryin.

[ozzie]

Dexter, I take Lexapro and have just recently increased it so I hope to feel better soon. I imagine this is a combination of the weather, approaching holidays and not feeling well physically.

I also feel really bad when my kids are suffering. Hubby and I both have depression and have passed it on to four kids.

[ozzie]

Thanks Kimmy. Today I'm getting out and having some fun with my brother. That will help.

Unfortunately, I usually give myself little treats of chocolate.....and I'm doing that too much lately!

I feel drained but hope to refuel so I can get thru the holidays.

[ozzie]

Thank you dottie. It sounds like you understand where I am right now. My youngest son is 23 and feeling terrible about himself right now. We've been trying to persuade him to get professional help and he is very reluctant. He is supposed to graduate from college, Magna cum lauda, in three weeks! He's worried that he won't make it till then. I have to keep encouraging him.

[ozzie]

Thank you (((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))

[ozzie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Helping is what you DO not just who you ARE...you are MORE than just being of help......

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Thank you Sleeps. I'm going to keep playing those games with you and others. It helps me to be silly sometimes. You're a great one to have fun with!

[ozzie]

Thanks Silver. I've been basically retired from the world for a long time. lol. I can't retire from my family though. I understand what you are saying though and I am going to work more on my own mental resources.

[ozzie]

Thank you MP. I'm going to work on me so that I can soon do the thing that I like to do.

[ozzie]

(((((((Susan Jane)))))))) I'll bet we are confusing folks. lol

It's always been that way for me, I'll be ok(but not great) for a while and then the depression hits a lot worse. I usually recover fairly quickly if I work on it. Thank you.

[Overcastbutclearing]

Somedays we must be our own warriors to fight off depression when it is sinking w/in.
I am here for you!

susan, are you losing your "inner" self, by helping everyone else and never thinking of what susan needs? we all do it at times. hang in there. pat

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((Susan)))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

(((Hugs))) sometimes we "numb" up when things get too tough to face... or when we are afraid we will "lose" it.. especially when others are relying upon us. Take time for yourself.. Just BE yourself...and let the rest of us and your family deal with it... I like you just the way you are!