[mrcherryred87]

When I originally joined PsychCentral it was so I could find out information and learn about how I could help my girlfriend who is bipolar. I suffer from depression myself and up until now have tried to deny it. I was scared to admit it and wanted to hide from it. Last week was the breaking point for me, I said "I don't want to feel this way anymore!" I called the doctors and scheduled an appointment to see a therapist. Monday I went to the doctors and was put on medication; next Tuesday I see the therapist.

It's definitely been a tough week and I have been fighting with myself endlessly! I have all these thoughts going around in my head and I don't know what to do about them. My first thought is the fear of losing my girlfriend, we are in kind of a rough patch and I know my moods lately haven't been making it better. Worrying about it is making it worse but I can't help it! I also find myself having no ambition to do anything. I got home from work today and immediately went to bed. When I got up I moved from the bed to the couch and really haven't done anything all night. I have also had thoughts of doing away with myself which really, really scares me. I don't want to be this way anymore! I know it's not going to be an easy road ahead but I don't know what to do in the meantime. I'm so afraid the world around me is going to come crashing down and there isn't anything I can do about it.....

[Earl Sweatshirt]

Originally Posted by mrcherryred87

When I originally joined PsychCentral it was so I could find out information and learn about how I could help my girlfriend who is bipolar. I suffer from depression myself and up until now have tried to deny it. I was scared to admit it and wanted to hide from it. Last week was the breaking point for me, I said "I don't want to feel this way anymore!" I called the doctors and scheduled an appointment to see a therapist. Monday I went to the doctors and was put on medication; next Tuesday I see the therapist.

I applaud you for reaching out for help from a therapist. Great first step. No need to deny it if you know that's what you're suffering from. You should know that medications can be tough for people to adjust to and just be aware of how it's making you feel while you are on it. I personally had bad experiences with medications, but some individuals really get a huge positive boost from meds.

Hopefully your therapist is good, but keep in mind the fact that if you don't like your therapist after awhile, there are always others available. Psychologists may be better than therapists in helping your depression with cognitive behavioral therapy, so keep that in mind if the therapist doesn't work out.

Originally Posted by mrcherryred87

It's definitely been a tough week and I have been fighting with myself endlessly! I have all these thoughts going around in my head and I don't know what to do about them. My first thought is the fear of losing my girlfriend, we are in kind of a rough patch and I know my moods lately haven't been making it better. Worrying about it is making it worse but I can't help it! I also find myself having no ambition to do anything. I got home from work today and immediately went to bed. When I got up I moved from the bed to the couch and really haven't done anything all night. I have also had thoughts of doing away with myself which really, really scares me. I don't want to be this way anymore! I know it's not going to be an easy road ahead but I don't know what to do in the meantime. I'm so afraid the world around me is going to come crashing down and there isn't anything I can do about it.....

Going through a rough patch in a relationship can be tough and cause anyone to be depressed. Things will get better. At least you are reaching out for help and trying. I don't think the world is going to come crashing down, but you know what man, as someone that has tried meds, tried suicide (and passed out), been there done that, etc I know you can be happy if you really want to and work on it. It's a personal journey though, and you are on the right track. What makes one person happy does not necessarily make someone else happy. Props to you man, props.

My suggestion to you would be forcing yourself to exercise. I know it's ridiculously tough, but man, getting yourself moving and to the gym can do wonders for a depressed person. I would maybe talk to your girlfriend about how you feel if you guys have a close relationship; otherwise reach out to your family/friends for emotional support. Talking to someone really helps when you're depressed.

Anyways, hopefully things turn around for the better. You'll improve if you keep trying. It may be a wicked journey, but you'll become more aware along the way of what really works. Wishing you the best.