[jrae]

ok, so i don't know where else to put this or how to say it, so here goes...

i've got TRD and haven't had a job in about four years. i'm living with my parents on our farmsite, have been for the past three and a half years.

i've got two things that are really bothering me, that i could really use some advice on. one thing you need to understand about me is that i NEVER talk about money or finances. i know i can't financially support myself, which makes me a huge burden to my parents. anyways...

first: my grandpa built a house on our farmsite back in 1950, and of course back then, no one knew anything about proper garbage disposal or recycling, so they just threw everything out in the grove of trees behind a building. well, for years, i've been after my dad to clean the "pile of crap" up cuz it's really bad for the environment. well, even though my depression is really bad right now, i finally just pushed myself to do it. i just wanted to get it done so i didn't have to think about it anymore.

i took each piece of metal (including everything from nuts and bots to metal stoves, fuel barrels, and small farm machinery) and put it in a trailor. when the trailor got full, my dad drove it to the scrap metal place about 45 miles away and got money for it. i did get some help from my uncle and my dad, but i did most of the work myself. after two trailor loads, the 40 years of metal my Grandpa had put behind this building was about 10,000 pounds - not lying!

since i did most of the work, you'd think i'd get at least half of the money received from cleaning up the scrap metal. (blank) no. not even a third of it did my parents give me. i'm sorry, but that just pisses me off. i can't work cuz of my depression, yet this is the biggest 'project' i've done. so why the heck can't i get the respect i deserve for accomplishing it?? don't i deserve to get the money from all my hard work, exhausting myself until my entire body ached???

second: my parents paid for two of my meds last year when my insurance lapsed. well, thru talking with my case worker, i figured out that i could get the state to cover those two and get re-imbursed for the money. i told my mom right away that i wanted to use this money for a trip i take every july (three day outdoor music festival). then when we finally get the check for it, my mom says i don't get any of it - it's THEIR money. they wouldn't have it if it weren't for me!! [though i do understand her point]

now i'm not the one to argue with my parents about money, cuz i know they take care of me and could easily kick me to the curb at anytime. but these two things just pissed the (blank) out of me. i wish i could say something to them. it's probably not even my place. i mean, how would that argument go?! idk...

(sorry this got to me so long)

[arcangel]

Originally Posted by jrae

ok, so i don't know where else to put this or how to say it, so here goes...

i've got TRD and haven't had a job in about four years. i'm living with my parents on our farmsite, have been for the past three and a half years.

i've got two things that are really bothering me, that i could really use some advice on. one thing you need to understand about me is that i NEVER talk about money or finances. i know i can't financially support myself, which makes me a huge burden to my parents. anyways...

first: my grandpa built a house on our farmsite back in 1950, and of course back then, no one knew anything about proper garbage disposal or recycling, so they just threw everything out in the grove of trees behind a building. well, for years, i've been after my dad to clean the "pile of crap" up cuz it's really bad for the environment. well, even though my depression is really bad right now, i finally just pushed myself to do it. i just wanted to get it done so i didn't have to think about it anymore.

i took each piece of metal (including everything from nuts and bots to metal stoves, fuel barrels, and small farm machinery) and put it in a trailor. when the trailor got full, my dad drove it to the scrap metal place about 45 miles away and got money for it. i did get some help from my uncle and my dad, but i did most of the work myself. after two trailor loads, the 40 years of metal my Grandpa had put behind this building was about 10,000 pounds - not lying!

since i did most of the work, you'd think i'd get at least half of the money received from cleaning up the scrap metal. (blank) no. not even a third of it did my parents give me. i'm sorry, but that just pisses me off. i can't work cuz of my depression, yet this is the biggest 'project' i've done. so why the heck can't i get the respect i deserve for accomplishing it?? don't i deserve to get the money from all my hard work, exhausting myself until my entire body ached???

second: my parents paid for two of my meds last year when my insurance lapsed. well, thru talking with my case worker, i figured out that i could get the state to cover those two and get re-imbursed for the money. i told my mom right away that i wanted to use this money for a trip i take every july (three day outdoor music festival). then when we finally get the check for it, my mom says i don't get any of it - it's THEIR money. they wouldn't have it if it weren't for me!! [though i do understand her point]

now i'm not the one to argue with my parents about money, cuz i know they take care of me and could easily kick me to the curb at anytime. but these two things just pissed the (blank) out of me. i wish i could say something to them. it's probably not even my place. i mean, how would that argument go?! idk...

(sorry this got to me so long)

You're not going to like this answer but... oh well. I agree with your parents. You should have received some of the money for the recycling but then you did, didn't you? Respect isn't payable in cash. I respect what you did but I'm not sending you money
Your parents paid for the medication? Then the reimbursement is theirs. EOS.

[kaliope]

I have to agree with Mike. Youre not going to like what I have to say. The insurance reimbursement was for money your parents paid, it was their money. There was no reason for you to expect it was yours. As for the trash cleanup, yes it would have been a kind thing to do to give you some of the funds from the recycling, but he may have been looking at it as your way of chipping in toward your room and board. If you are really bothered about it, you should talk to him.

[online user]

Sorry, I agree with the others. The reimbursement for the insurance money should go to your folks. And, since you don't pay anything for room and board, it is reasonable to expect that they would think your efforts for the scrap should go to them. I do think they might have given you a bit of that, if you needed it, for something special to yourself. But since you don't talk to them about finances, maybe they are in pretty dire straights and needed it?

Is there some other way you can earn some money to pay for the music festival?

[jrae]

i understand what everyone is saying about the meds.

but "dire straights"?! they bought a newer pontoon last summer, and this winter, they bought a custom made desktop computer and a laptop.

[online user]

OK, so they can afford a few "extras". Maybe they could have been more generous with the salvage money. Is there another way you can pay for the music festival trip?