[Heisenberg]

I feel like such a failure right now. I have been going to a prominent university for science for the past three years, though for the past two I have been taking my classes part time so that I can work as well to pay for my apartment and to feed myself. It hasn't been going very well with very few of my finals marks being above 55% with the exception of the courses I've taken outside my program. Since I have had such low marks since I entered university I was sent an e-mail today saying that unless I can give evidence of extenuating circumstances I have to take a year off school.

I did so well in highschool. I graduated with an average of 89% in my final year. I knew what I wanted to do. How did I mess it all up? I don't want to blame it all on depression, that seems like such a weak answer, like I'm not owning up to my own stupid mistakes. I just feel so low. I had such a bright future and I ****ed it all up. Pardon the language.

[dragonfly2]

Sorry you're having such difficulty right now. I did the same thing you are doing, taking part time classes, working to support myself, carrying a load of science courses. My degree is in Medical Laboratory Science, and those science courses are not easy! Even if the material comes easily, it's very labor intensive between class time and laboratories. It sounds like you may be spreading yourself a bit too thin. I had to retake an Immunology class because I was failing it and I almost didn't pass level one Clinical Chemistry because I was working so late at night and was basically half asleep in the 8am class. I got a B in my Immunology retake and graduated with a 3.2 gpa after all was said and done.

I'm sure depression played a part in it all for me. You're not weak. It is an extenuating circumstance. You've been treated for depression in the past. Can your doctor write a letter stating that you've had a relapse? Can you retake any of your core classes over a summer session? Can you reduce your course load any? It took me six years to get my BS. Two full-time, four part-time. There were people at my graduation who had started out in the same graduating class who were getting their Master's degrees while I was just finally getting my Bachelor's.

What does your gut tell you? Would some time off be a good thing? Can you take a medical leave of absence? Or would that just make things worse for you?

Try not to dwell on what has passed. Just focus on what you need to do to improve the future. See if you can get that doctor's letter.

[Rohag]

1. Depression
2. Gluten Intolerance
3. Work while studying and dealing with 1 and 2

You may not want to blame depression for your lower-than-desired marks, but there's no escaping it's a significant part of the equation. Were I the people on the other end of that email, I'd want to know about the depression and other illnesses.

[Heisenberg]

I will be petitioning to not have to take a year off. My study habits are terrible and I was starting to make some improvement on them this past year, though clearly not enough, so I don't think taking a year off of school will help.
I have a physical at my Doctor's tomorrow so I'll bring up needing some sort of letter then. I don't know how good the letter will be though, since I'm not all that open with my doctor about my depression. Maybe she can put something about my gluten intolerance on there too..
I do know what I need to do, this feels like such a low blow. Most of my friends are just one year away from graduating and I still haven't finished my second year courses for my program. I have difficulty making friends too and many of my friends are in other cities and I rarely see or talk to them. The few that are here will be gone after next year finding jobs. I feel left behind.