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Old Jun 15, 2011, 12:45 PM
NOTINKANSASANYMORE's Avatar
NOTINKANSASANYMORE NOTINKANSASANYMORE is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 9
Meds. (lost track of number!), psychotherapy (EVERY kind), ECT, hospitalization... I am looking at TMS now. I cannot get out of bed most days, I cry at the drop of a hat, I've pushed everyone away. I can remember "me" from 19 years ago, and if I'm not too sad, I can still think of things I want to do (enjoy). I want to LIVE, not just exist. I am new at this forum thing, but I guess I am seeking...something...connection?

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  #2  
Old Jun 15, 2011, 09:17 PM
Rohag's Avatar
Rohag Rohag is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,045
Hello & Welcome, NOTINKANSASANYMORE!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOTINKANSASANYMORE View Post
...if I'm not too sad, I can still think of things I want to do (enjoy). I want to LIVE, not just exist.
The fact you still can want these things after 19 years is significant. Try to hold on to that ability to want.

May you find connections here.
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My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
  #3  
Old Jun 15, 2011, 09:27 PM
whenwillitend's Avatar
whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
Hello and Welcome!
I agree, it is good that you still have some "want" left. You say there are still things you enjoy, when you're not feeling too sad. That's good! Try to expand on that, find new things that sound like fun. You may have to force yourself to have fun (I know I do sometimes), but it might work to make you feel better.
It gets so frustrating when you have done everything you can and nothing is working.
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As she draws her final breath
Just beyond the door he'll find her
Taking her hand he softly says

For the first time you can open your eyes
And see the world without your sorrow
Where no one knows the pain you left behind
And all the peace you could never find
Is waiting there to hold and keep you
Welcome to the first day of your life

Just open up your eyes as I lay you down tonight
Safe on the other side
No more tears to cry
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