What If?

Ok...I have something for you to think about and I'd like replies on this one. Say you're young...and within 2 years time everyone on one side of the family was knocked off, or had when they died, cancer? Tell me what would you do and how would you go on? Would you live in constant fear? Depression? Despair?

I'm only asking this because this is happening to me right now. Nobody around me can even imagine what I'm going through in the name of cancer. My dad can't comprehend, my boyfriend doesn't realize the magnitude of it all, and I don't know what the future holds for me, but in the past 2 years, it doesn't look good. Funny thing, half my family is female...all the ones that have died of cancer or are going to...

Lex,

I have no easy answer for you as there is none. I wish I could help you. All I can do is share my story.

The first person to die of cancer in my family was my dad. I was ten-years-old. I wasn't too scared of cancer at that age, but I was afraid that I too, would die. I was petrified to go to sleep at night for fear I would not wake up in the morning. I believe now in retrospect it was the beginning of my anxiety/PTSD.

It wasn't until one year later that my grandmother died of blood cancer (which is what I have now). One by one I lost my aunts and uncles within three years. All to cancer. All on my father's side.

By the time I was fifteen, cancer was my monster that lived under my bed or in the closet when the lights went out. I lived my life in fear of it, convinced I would get it and die. Convinced I'd never make it to twenty. Then thirty. Forty.

My mom was recently treated for breast cancer and had a mastectomy of her left breast. Also, she has battled lung cancer and had her left lung removed and a quarter of her right lung removed.

My two brothers died within five years of each other.

Death surrounds me too, but somehow, some way life goes on. Maybe not as we would like. Maybe not on a steady path, but on it goes.

Peace,

Petunia

I'm not sure if I'd live in depression or despair. It's hard to even imagine what that would be like. If it was me, though, I'd find a survivors' support group so I could be around people who understood what I was going through.

I would fight the depression and despair, and I would develop a whole new appreciation for those who are still around. Ben has a good suggestion -- most people CANNOT understand, but if you seek out those who do, then your circle will grow again.

Sorry for your losses,
LMo

Just about every family member who didn't die of suicide died of cancer in my family. I learned one thing and that is living in depression and fear of cancer can drive a person nuts and keep themselves in misery for nothing. Everything in life food activities objects are said to create cancer theres no getting around it unless you live in a hospital sterile bubble and thats no place to live either. So the best thing I did for myself was not worry myself to death on it. instead I kept regular physicals with my family physician, did the mamagrams and other tests as he said to do them. By doing this my cancer was caught as early as possible and steps were taken and I achieved remission the first time through treatment. Im living proof cancer does NOT always kill. I have been in remission now for almost 3 years if it holds for 7 years (3 down 4 to go) Im considered cancer cured. I am keeping a positive attitude about it so that I don't create ulcers and other health problems which would open the door for it to come back because it has been proven cancer can strike the most and hardest when the persons immune system is down. Taking care of myself keeps my immune system up where it can fight the cancer promoting bacteria and germs. Take care.

i agree with LMo and Ben. when my parents died, i reached out to friends that i hadn't had contact with for awhile. they all responded and helped me get through the hardest parts. xoxox pat

(((((((((Lex))))))))))
I can't even begin to comprehend. I'm fortunate in such a way that I take my family and health for granted.
Your posts about your loss always makes me take a moment to appreciate what I have.
Other then that, I don't know what to say except I'm hoping really hard that a bright ray of sunshine will break through the clouds and warm and shelter you.
I'm really sad for your losses.

I think you just have to go on and ditch the fear so you can move on......I DO know and will PM you

I just sent you a pm ......and the site errored ...I will resend tomorrow sigh

{{{{Lex}}}}

Although I can't relate to the cancer part of your story, most people in my family die before they hit 60. Myself & my two half sisters, & a few random cousins & aunts are the only ones left of my extended family - my grandparents died before I was 5, same for most of my great aunts & uncles. My mom was the only one to be taken due to side effects & complications from lung cancer treatments - she was 44. My dad made it to 57 before he died of a heart attack.

Simply because the genetics of my family seem geared to it, I don't expect to have a very long lifetime - but for me, well, we've all got to go sometime. I'm not afraid of death, and I'm not angry at death - it's part of the natural processes of life.

I think the important thing is to be brave enough to actually live while you're alive. Don't let death scare you into never learning to fly.