[obsidianavenger]

looking around the internet for information on depression i keep reading that "reaching out" to others when i feel down is supposed to help me. but i don't understand it. if i feel sad for no real reason (theres no problem that needs fixing except my brain :P) then how will telling someone else this help me? won't it just induce people to want to avoid my whining in the future? sorry if this sounds stupid but its just really frustrating advice to me.

[SoupDragon]

I think it is because we can change our brain chemicals by doing certain things. Also when we are feeling depressed it is easier to do nothing and the tendency can be to sit at home all day - this can then compound the feelings, in the same way as if someone who was not depressed sat at home all day not doing anything enjoyable, then they would start to think that life wasn't enjoyable. So I think it is somewhat about breaking the cycle.

[online user]

Yes, sharing your feelings helps you feel better. It "releases" the emotions. I have a lot of anger over what has happened to me. My psychologist tells me to bring it to him and leave it in his office--OR--tell a friend, a close friend, what I am upset about, and that will help me get rid of it and feel better.

The other part of this, is that people are social creatures, even if they are shy and introverted. It is not natural for them to be solitary. Think of it--the put prisoners in isolation to control them and as interrogation techniques to break them down mentally. If you spend time with other human beings it will have a positive effect on your spirits. Too much time alone will be negative, even if you are a person who does enjoy time by yourself. Does this make sense to you? Does to me. Plus I've noticed, if I'm down in the dumps and hubby encourages me to do a social thing, like go and play cards with friends, it really, really does lift my spirits almost every time.

[justfloating]

I think that "reaching out" doesn't necessarily have to be about whining or even discussing how you're feeling. If you're around other people talking about the weather or the latest episode of some tv show, it still counts. I agree with online user, we're social animals. I experience a huge degree of social anxiety but even I feel better if I've had a quiet coffee with a friend, or watch a movie with my family instead of by myself. Sometimes if I'm not in a great place I'll tell a close friend exactly that -- I don't feel great, but I don't want to talk about it so if they can excuse the fact that I'm a little "foggy" that day, I would like to go for coffee/a walk/talk about something else to help me unwind. Maybe you could try something along those lines? You don't have to spill your guts, you can just acknowledge how you're feeling in the moment and try not to isolate yourself when you feel that way. Might help. Sending hugs.