[mt1971]

I'm here on my sofa. I didn't go to work today. Called in sick, unable to face life. I'm a single mom of 3. I want to be a great mom, take my kids places and do lots of stuff with them. Hard to do when just getting out of bed is difficult. I need to talk to someone, but I don't want my friends and family to know how messed up I am. I feel like it's my fault, I should be able to overcome this. Like I'm just lazy when I have trouble getting up, showering, doing normal chores. Most people do those things without a second thought! Why is it so impossible for me to function? I went to therapy, but found myself not being open with the therapist, because I didn't want her to think badly of me. I feel completely worthless, and I don't want anyone to know how worthless I really am. I wish I could find a way to be a real person. At this point, I'm just waiting for it all to be over. I would not hurt myself, wouldn't do that to the kids. What I'm living is not life. Feeling so unbelievably hopeless and alone.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( mt1971 )))))))))))))

[akekaomen]

mt1971: you can do it. For now just think small. You can't change the way you feel, but you can act opposite to your feelings. It's the hardest thing to do, but to not let depression have its way may give you some strength with practice.

Therapy takes time because you have to build the trust. I lied to my therapist and psych for years until I was able to really open up. Even now I'm tempted to lie just to shut them up, but that's a different story LOL.

Lastly, you are what matters. No one else. Other people are not you and they have their own problems that they hide. I like to think that other people are just as messed up as me, but they are just lucky enough to not have the symptoms.