[Shadow-world]

Does anyone else feel that their life has come to a standstill and what they most want in life is never going to happen? I see the months pass, notice the first signs of autumn approach when looking at the berries and seeing the leaves on the ground. The year is waning and it's just been another year that has not given me what I most wish for.
Instead, there has been so much pain and hopelessness over the last few months.
I'm feeling so lonely and weary.

((((((((((((((((((Shadow-world)))))))))))))))))))You are not alone in feeling that way.

I have felt that way. It passes. Then something wonderful comes along, and I'm involved in a whole new pattern of life.

I am hoping this will happen for you very soon; in the meantime, try to center yourself in the moment...it's much easier to handle for me that way. "Lonely and weary", I try to keep myself
amused.

Today, I went to an appointment, got lost, got caught making an illegal U-turn, whilst on my cell by a wicked State trooper......awful, huh? Oh, I think it's hilarious!!! I went out and all I accomplished was getting a ticket!!!!!!!!!LOLOLOL

The lengths I go to keep myself amused! ah, I am a riot!! How fun!! It'll be okay---you're not alone; we be friends...let's breathe together!!!-----------------------hugs--theo

Postscript: You should know that I really felt rather awful about it all. Then, when the trooper started in about how my windows were tinted too darkly, I thought I might slap him. I didn't; a nervous giggle came upon me, and I started to smile at him. Driving back here, I talked to some pigeons--"Yo, Walter; are you there?" I cracked myself up. Ya cry, or ya laugh...

[Shadow-world]

Theo, I love your sense of humour and the ability to see the bright side in even rather unpleasant incidents that happen to you. Truly admirable.
I think you're definitely right that a better way forward is to centre oneself in the present moment. It's also what mindfulness teaches. Sometimes, it's hard, but yes, the bigger picture is too much to contemplate so it's much better to focus as much on the here and now as possible.
I shall try:
There is probably another one hour and a half of sunshine before it gets dark so I try to enjoy this. Hope it's sunny as well in NY - still only just about early afternoon there, I reckon.
Thanks for the post, Theo.

Shadow-world, shucks, it isn't easy!! You wouldn't want to go where I go when it is too dark, ugly, and physical pain actually sets in from the pain. Then I stop feeling.

Thank you, but know this, I always seem to have one catastrophic occurence in my life or another; those things are monsters next to a State Trooper! Perhaps that's why I always have something of major horror going on; see, then I can look at a ticket as something quite silly and funny...the other is way too deep and difficult by comparison. A sprained ankle--eh! A bad back -eh! these are nothing to the other.

I tell myself daily, it could always be worse. I am grateful.--------Kudos!!!--theo

[Gently1]

I am finding I was surprised to see the leaves turning yellow, it is the end of summer- and what happened to Spring?
3 years ago I painted the hallway down the stairs, removed the railings- got caught in a time wrap and today put my hand out expecting the railing!

Also a little more awkward have started typing and saying 'we'. Been divorced for 3 years.

Yes, being depressed for me is a kind of stasis, for me it has been a lesson in learning to live for the moment and in the moment even if I say the moment now is painful. To recognise and to do what it takes to regain my health, even if to outsiders it looks like a lot of nothing.

The harder I tried to force 'normal' the faster it slipped away and the more desolate I felt. Not to mention the exhustion of 'everything'.
For while decided I was allergic to life- anytime I did activies I would be down for days. Pacing is a new word in my life. The challenge is from one day to the next I do not know what my limits are, am learning to feel indicators such as a sore thoat then it is time to rest.!

Shadow-world, I hope you are finding medical support -Rx and T.
They are tools and the best tool is hope. I have found so much hope and help here at PC.
G1