[jazper]

The last four days have been really bad, I actually hurt myself and have been scared someone will see my wrist. I feel so stupid that I got so upset and angry at myself that I did it. I have been neglecting to take my meds and take care of myself at all really. Today I feel a bit better I am at least dressed and feel ok enough to tell you all how stupid I have been. I am seeing my T tomorrow and I am really scared. I cannot decide whether or not to fessup or hide what I have done. If I tell her she will want to discuss the reasons why and I am not sure I want to yet. If I cover it then it might happen again if I get upset or even worse . I think I will fessup I cant lie to someones face ever and the first thing she always asks is what have I been doing. I am taking my meds again The thing with that is I run out then feel lousy and cant get myself together enough to go out and get them. I need organizing I think. And Motivating. Its a catch 22 I need it but I am the only one who can give it.

[Leed]

You need to remember that people CARE about you -- taking your meds is very important!! Try to refill your meds before you totally run out -- then at least you'll be feeling halfway decent to go get them.

And PLEASE tell your therapist that you hurt yourself. That's important to getting this taken care of for good! If she thinks everything is "ok" you won't get the treatment that you so badly need. So be honest -- you may have to talk about the issue before you want to, but you'll feel better about getting it OUT. We're only as sick as our secrets.

God bless & please take care of YOU. You do MATTER and you're important! Hugs, Lee

[jazper]

Thank you Lee, Sometimes I dont feel like I am worth anything to anyone, even me. But thanks for your advice.