[nikki_of_asgard]

I'm scared. I REALLY want to go back into hospital but I don't want to fall behind in school more than I already have. I'm really torn. Do I want safety, or success in society. I really don't want to ruin my life any more than I already have, but I don't feel stable enough for the real world. I just need somewhere safe and structured. I know this is weird, but I dream of living in a hospital in my own little room where I can be as crazy as I want. There's something wrong with me, and I hate myself for it. I just don't think that there is a place for me in society. There is no way for people like me to succeed, so we rot away at the bottom of the ladder, frowned upon by the successful.

I don't want to be independent - please don't make me.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Do you think you need to be in the hospital? Have you talked to your t or pdoc? School can always be worked out. Your health and safety comes first. You're not alone. I'm here if you need to talk.

[20oney]

Hey there. As said above, your health and safety matters most. If you feel that you might not be able to cope out in the world at the moment, I think you need to do what you feel is right for you right now. School can be worked out later. But yeah, might be worth talking to a therapist, pdoc, GP or family about all the options. They should be able to help you out

Hope you're able to feel a little better soon, if you need to talk