[silent_reverie]

Wouldn't it be great if I just announced to the world that I have damn depression? Why is depression so stigmatized in society? I always feel like I have to hide it in public. No one knows about my depression other than my family, and therapist, and like 1 other friend. I can barely talk about it with those people. Only time I can cry hysterically is in therapy because I pay my therapist to listen to that sad crap. Even my family discourages me from expressing my emotions.

Sometimes I just want to announce it to the world on Facebook or something. I dunno if it's because I want attention or it might turn out to be cathartic. But I'm sick of pretending to be normal (or sort of happy), at my job, in front of friends, walking down the street, etc.

I think I just feel alone in all of this. I don't personally know people who suffer like I do. I only read about other people and their memoirs, but I just feel very disconnected from real people I see face to face.

[alwaysrejoice]

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! I am going throught it right now. Im off work and i cant tell anyone why. I have to have ECT and I have no one to drive me there because I can't tell anyone, not even may parents. I have debated announcing it to the world also.

[venusss]

would it help though?

so what, they would know. You would not become magically happy and normal. Most people cannot relate and even if they can, they cannot help you through this. This is a struggle one has to do on their own.

and sometimes faking it can be... beneficial even. You cannot express your feelings at public anyways... it would be a mess if people did. It is enough to have one or two people to confess to, I believe.

(and yes, today I wondered how many of my classmates want to kill themselves at times... but would it really help to know? So I would know that the pretty and well kept blondie in expensive shoes suffers too... but... so what? It would not relieve me in my struggle in any way).

[alwaysrejoice]

Well for example my friend at work has breast cancer. We all do whatever it takes for her. She is getting so much support from us and she deserves support from her friends. I would think it would make me feel better to have more support from my friends and family. You're right though, Venus, it wouldnt make me magically happy. I just dont like the in the closet feeling.

[cin1]

Originally Posted by silent_reverie

Wouldn't it be great if I just announced to the world that I have damn depression? Why is depression so stigmatized in society? I always feel like I have to hide it in public. No one knows about my depression other than my family, and therapist, and like 1 other friend. I can barely talk about it with those people. Only time I can cry hysterically is in therapy because I pay my therapist to listen to that sad crap. Even my family discourages me from expressing my emotions.

Sometimes I just want to announce it to the world on Facebook or something. I dunno if it's because I want attention or it might turn out to be cathartic. But I'm sick of pretending to be normal (or sort of happy), at my job, in front of friends, walking down the street, etc.

I think I just feel alone in all of this. I don't personally know people who suffer like I do. I only read about other people and their memoirs, but I just feel very disconnected from real people I see face to face.

i feel any type of mental "issue" or illness can be misunderstood and often it is. i feel disconnected from other people because i think they think i am "strange" . Plus if they get close to me, they can catch the bi-polar illness. for sure you are not alone. the majority of people have something wrong, and the ones who think they do not (but do) are few and far between.

[silent_reverie]

Originally Posted by alwaysrejoice

I have to have ECT and I have no one to drive me there because I can't tell anyone, not even may parents. I have debated announcing it to the world also.

That's tough =\... are you too ashamed to tell your parents?

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

would it help though?

so what, they would know. You would not become magically happy and normal. Most people cannot relate and even if they can, they cannot help you through this. This is a struggle one has to do on their own.

and sometimes faking it can be... beneficial even. You cannot express your feelings at public anyways... it would be a mess if people did. It is enough to have one or two people to confess to, I believe.

(and yes, today I wondered how many of my classmates want to kill themselves at times... but would it really help to know? So I would know that the pretty and well kept blondie in expensive shoes suffers too... but... so what? It would not relieve me in my struggle in any way).

Idk, announcing to the world would just be a cry for help I guess... But I kinda feel like my depression is a part of my identity now, so hiding it is like hiding true self, and doing that all the time gets really burdensome sometimes.

[alwaysrejoice]

That's tough =\... are you too ashamed to tell your parents?

Its not that im too ashamed, they drove me to the treatments when i had them in 2004. When i was in the hospital last time my mom immediatly said "youre not having ect again are you?", like that was a bad thing. I just don't want to disappoint her. My husband can take me but not every day, he works a lot.