[moltenwater77]

I haven't been on here in a while. Was trying to deal with this rollercoaster I call a life that seems to be stuck in a constant drop. I don't feel depressed when i wake up in the morning anymore, but I am worried about how I will pay my rent and bills. I left one job, in hindsight, very prematurely. Luckily I found another one right away, but that situation was worse than the one I left. So I got my stuff and never went back. It was too far and I wasn't making enough and the owner yelled at me one day for some perceived slight i gave a customer. I was right, but I'm passive/aggresive and I don't forget. I can work from the house, but I do a service that is seasonal, and this is the start of the down season. I can try to do side jobs, but I just don't know what I'm doing and I scared I may get evicted soon. But I brought this on myself...

The meds I've been taking seem to be helping, it's just my current lack of money that has me down in the dumps. I just feel like a constant failure. I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations and why it's so hard for me to deal with people. I need therapy, but it's hard because I'm so devoid of free money right now. I've been on these meds for 2 months now, and I know it won't be a cure-all but I still feel kind of down. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me. Why is it so hard?

[Elana05]

Hi Moltenwater,

(love that name...)

I'm so sorry to hear things have been rough right now. I can really relate. I have great difficulty in work environments too... Depression makes it especially hard. I guess my 2 thoughts are:

1. Could you get a roommate to help you pay rent and bills?
2. Is there any job that you imagine might be fun and less stressful for now while you work on yourself and your healing? Say, a kind of store you enjoy?
How about teaching ESL or some other kind of tutoring?

Sending supportive thoughts your way...

[madisgram]

is it possible your meds are not helping for you? i know it's not the total answer-glad u would know you need therapy too. talking with your pdoc about your depression may help. therapy and meds worked for me. since you can't pay for therapy now, would your income level qualify you for free mental heath support with county agencies? it's often not the best therapy but anything may help in that regard. i had to do it many years ago.
your life challenges are contributing to your depression. here are some coping tips i found-

Self-Help Methods

Self-help methods for the treatment of this disorder are often overlooked by the medical profession because very few professionals are involved in them. Depression-oriented support groups are especially effective, since they allow the individual an opportunity to socialize and be with others who suffer from similar feelings. Many support groups exist within communities throughout the world which are devoted to helping individuals with this disorder share their commons experiences and feelings.
There are many useful self-help books (such as The Feeling Good Handbook) that are available on the market today to help an individual overcome depression on their own. Some of these may be effective for some people and no other type of treatment may be needed, especially for people who suffer from a mild case of this disorder. Some books emphasize a cognitive-behavioral approach, which is similar to those used within individual therapy and therefore may be of use to an individual before they even begin therapy.

at bottom of page is self help-
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/dep...eatment/all/1/
i used the feeling good book and it has work sheets to assist you too.
also http://www.healthyplace.com/depressi...on/menu-id-68/ may help you with coping skills.

[moltenwater77]

Originally Posted by Elana05

Hi Moltenwater,

(love that name...)

I'm so sorry to hear things have been rough right now. I can really relate. I have great difficulty in work environments too... Depression makes it especially hard. I guess my 2 thoughts are:

1. Could you get a roommate to help you pay rent and bills?
2. Is there any job that you imagine might be fun and less stressful for now while you work on yourself and your healing? Say, a kind of store you enjoy?
How about teaching ESL or some other kind of tutoring?

Sending supportive thoughts your way...

Thank you so much. (blushes)
I have a roomate, of sorts... They do not have a job and haven't had one for a while. I'm concerned that she does not really want a job. I've tried and tried to explain to her how dire the situation is, but nothing. While I go out most days because staying in the house make me feel worse, she just stays in all day and says she's looking online for a job. She stresses me out so much, because I really want to ask her to leave, but I really don't want to be alone. I just feel like I'm being used

[moltenwater77]

Originally Posted by moltenwater77

Thank you so much. (blushes)
I have a roomate, of sorts... They do not have a job and haven't had one for a while. I'm concerned that she does not really want a job. I've tried and tried to explain to her how dire the situation is, but nothing. While I go out most days because staying in the house make me feel worse, she just stays in all day and says she's looking online for a job. She stresses me out so much, because I really want to ask her to leave, but I really don't want to be alone. I just feel like I'm being used

Also, thanks for the job suggestion, i'll see what I can do.