[zombiette]

this is only going to be a quick post as i don't have much time but i'm starting to really a bit spaced out and i keep on thinking about hurting myself so i thought i'd bet write something before things get too bad. It's funny, yesterday i was having a really good day but i had this feeling it wouldn't last. I mean i was hoping it would but now i'm finding i've slipped back down a bit. I know it's not the case, but sometimes i feel that if i just tried harder i could be fine and happy and not worried about anything. But i'm trying already, i just wish it wasn't such a damn slow process....it's like i take one step forwards, two backwards....

if "trying harder" worked, none of us would be here. we'd be happy and productive and living whatever a normal life is supposed to be.

you don't have a lot of control over your feelings of "up or down". at least i don't. don't beat yourself up over it.

posting here is good as it gives us feedback and support from others. others who feel exactly as we feel. xoxoxo pat