That feeling of dread in your stomach

A lot of things have happened these past few months.

I got permanent shelter, I've got a part time job I can hold down...

*classic facepalm moment*

No i really think I'm in serious need of help, or a good beating, or both !
Its that moment of realisation that so much has gone wrong, and so much has happened that was down to you to sort out and help. Its not the fact that I didn't, but I COULD have been there.

What did i do instead ? Ignorance to the Max.

My head feels like its spinning constantly..

Its one of those moments that made me physically sick, that's how hard it hit me. its that feeling of someone pouring lead into your body, you turn so heavy you can't move from the spot. Your eyes held open by imaginary toothpicks, unable to look away from what your seeing.
Then that tingly, fluttery feeling rises up from the depths of your stomach to fill your entire body with an adrenaline rush that would knock most people out.

For the first time in Months, if not years. A serious serious urge has started coursing through me, one that I know won't help, but will provide me with some relief.

I suppose I'm always meant to miss out some bits and bobs. Stupid brain of mine.

(((((((((((((((((((((AC)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Always here if you ever need to vent too!!!! massive s special

Thankyou iamspecial.. Means a lot to me.

Wish someone would come whack me over the head with a log and tell me to sort my life out !