[CareBear25]

This is the first time I've posted on the forum, so I'm a bit hesitant. I'll let it all out anyway in hopes of some advice.

I've been diagnosed with severe depression, an anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress since I was 12 years old. I first thought about suicide at that age as well.

I am 25 years old now. Life only seems to get worse. I can't remember a time when I've been truly happy. Every part of my existance is a source for suffering.

It got to the point where I could barely get out of bed, so I quit a good paying job a few months ago. My husband has left me several times, but always ends up coming back for some reason. Both of my daughters live on the other side of the country because I didn't want them living with someone like this, so they live with their father. My husband and I separated back in January of this year, and although we are working on things now, I still live with my dad and my husband expresses no interest in helping me AT ALL.

I've been searching for a job for weeks, but nothing has come up. I've had interviews, but didn't get a job offer. I've been sleeping 12 hours a day only because I force myself to get up at that point, then I'll sit here on my computer, closing my eyes, wishing I was back in bed. Also, the very thought of working around people makes me extremely anxious and depressed. I don't get along with people. They dont understand why I'm different.

Since January, I've managed to gain almost 50lbs. That's enough to make me wanna jump off a bridge right there. Can't seem to get a handle on it.

I'm in desperate need of help. My life is a mess.

*My husband doesn't love me like I wish he would.
*My daughters never see me because I dont have the money to visit them so far away.
*I lost a good job due to depression.
*Can't find a new job.
*Gaining weight uncontrollably.
*Feeling like I'm waiting to die.
*No hope.
*No motivation.
*Living with my dad (who abused me as a child.)

Am I supposed to just sit here and take the torture??? Everyone is so against suicide. Well, WTF am I dealing with this for then? What good could come out of anything??

[Rohag]

Hello, CareBear25!

Originally Posted by CareBear25

*Living with my dad (who abused me as a child.)

That says a lot. Your earlier post also says much.

Originally Posted by CareBear25

Am I supposed to just sit here and take the torture???

Of course not. Unfortunately, as you well know, depression robs a person even of the will and energy to move away from torture.

Can you contact community support (for example, 2-1-1 in the USA)? I suspect you need real, practical assistance in getting to a better place.

[sweets]

Originally Posted by CareBear25

This is the first time I've posted on the forum, so I'm a bit hesitant. I'll let it all out anyway in hopes of some advice.

I've been diagnosed with severe depression, an anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress since I was 12 years old. I first thought about suicide at that age as well.

I am 25 years old now. Life only seems to get worse. I can't remember a time when I've been truly happy. Every part of my existance is a source for suffering.

It got to the point where I could barely get out of bed, so I quit a good paying job a few months ago. My husband has left me several times, but always ends up coming back for some reason. Both of my daughters live on the other side of the country because I didn't want them living with someone like this, so they live with their father. My husband and I separated back in January of this year, and although we are working on things now, I still live with my dad and my husband expresses no interest in helping me AT ALL.

I've been searching for a job for weeks, but nothing has come up. I've had interviews, but didn't get a job offer. I've been sleeping 12 hours a day only because I force myself to get up at that point, then I'll sit here on my computer, closing my eyes, wishing I was back in bed. Also, the very thought of working around people makes me extremely anxious and depressed. I don't get along with people. They dont understand why I'm different.

Since January, I've managed to gain almost 50lbs. That's enough to make me wanna jump off a bridge right there. Can't seem to get a handle on it.

I'm in desperate need of help. My life is a mess.

*My husband doesn't love me like I wish he would.
*My daughters never see me because I dont have the money to visit them so far away.
*I lost a good job due to depression.
*Can't find a new job.
*Gaining weight uncontrollably.
*Feeling like I'm waiting to die.
*No hope.
*No motivation.
*Living with my dad (who abused me as a child.)

Am I supposed to just sit here and take the torture??? Everyone is so against suicide. Well, WTF am I dealing with this for then? What good could come out of anything??

I also have the same story would be intrested in talking sometime.