[garden gal]

I feel like my depression is in a downward spiral again. I completed a partial hospitalization program in September, and then had a reasonably OK month. I thought that maybe depression would leave me alone for a while. The past few weeks, however, I've been drifting downward. The last week and a half has been especially difficult, and it is getting to the point where all I seem to do is lie in bed and think morbid thoughts. My house is a mess... dirty dishes, piles everywhere. All I've managed to accomplish today was going to my therapy appointment this morning. (I did tell him how I was feeling.) I'm seeing my psychiatrist on Wednesday... maybe I need to increase my meds. I don't know. I feel like I don't want to talk to my friends about my depression, because I've been down this street SO many times. I just feel kind of pathetic, like a lost cause, for having this same old struggle over and over. Can anyone relate to this?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by garden gal

I just feel kind of pathetic, like a lost cause, for having this same old struggle over and over.

Oh, yes. To that I can most definitely relate. I wish I weren't the kind of pathetic I am. I wonder if I've lost my vision of being non-pathetic?

Is there still a garden for Garden Gal? I hope so.

[Treading water]

I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I suffer from Lupus, RA and severe depression. I just want to stay in bed and for everyone to go away and leave me alone. My house too is a mess, I cannot deal with every day tasks such as simple as paying a bill or fixing dinner. I feel hopeless most of the time when I should be grateful for what I do have. I don't want to discuss my depression with my friends because most of them are "normal" and don't understand what it is really like. I have been on sooo many different antidepressants over the years I can never tell which one is working and which is not and I am not even sure what happiness feels like anyway....I feel like a total lost cause.