[Indie'sOK]

This post will probably seem petty, and stupid, as people with "real" issues wouldn't want this to happen. But do you guys ever wish someone, like a teacher or somebody important, would take notice that you're having a hard time?

I don't know why I would. Maybe to prove that someone really is paying attention. Like my favorite teacher from sophomore year. Just because I know she'd really get it. But then another part of me feels like these people wouldn't like me if they knew, that they'd think I was faking it or that I was just plain weird.

I feel like this is one of those crying for attention posts. It's not supposed to be. I feel worse now, sadness-wise, then I've felt in a long time. I don't know why.

Thanks for listening.

[alwaysrejoice]

even if someone is crying for attention, its ok. I don't think you are though. I sometimes wished my work people would notice instead of dumping all their problems on me. some of them do know i have a problem and still don't notice.

[Radman622]

I remember that when I was dealing with my period of depression, I have very similar feelings to you. There were some people I loved and respected very greatly, and I remember wondering how they couldn't notice that I had been wrestling with Depression and Self Esteem issues for three years.

In particular, my feelings in this respect were dedicated towards my parents, and my teachers and peers in school. None of them seemed to even notice how I was teetering on the brink.

One of the prevalent pieces of Depression for many people is wondering whether or not others care about you. In some ways, Depression can be a cry for help in that sense, in that you just want someone to notice your feelings and validate them. There's nothing particularly wrong with this, everyone wants to feel as if they're valued and their feelings are respected by others as legitimate.

Having gone through Depression and come out the other side, the best advice I can give you is to force yourself to reach out to other people. Depression will make you want to isolate yourself and reject human contact, but that is NOT the road to recovery. It may seem immature, but what's necessary is never incorrect: you should vocalize your feelings to those close to you, give them opportunities to display their care for you and to affirm your feelings.

If you're struggling with feeling loved by others I'd say - if you want to be loved, allow yourself to be loved. That's all it really takes, the only thing stopping you from feeling the love and care of your friends and family is yourself. This is why opening up to others is so important - it is the quickest route to recovery.

I'd be happy to talk with you further on this if you like.

[kaliope]

I actually had a teacher in college call me in to talk to me to see if I was ok. She could tell from my essays that I was struggling and was wondering if there was anything I felt the dept could do to make sure I would be ok getting thru the program. It really made me feel special. She liked me because I was a good student, wrote well, shared in class and followed directions. Then when I had my breakdown the next year, she turned her back on me and stopped talking to me all together, wouldnt answer my emails or anything. It really hurt.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by kaliope

I actually had a teacher in college call me in to talk to me to see if I was ok. She could tell from my essays that I was struggling and was wondering if there was anything I felt the dept could do to make sure I would be ok getting thru the program. It really made me feel special. She liked me because I was a good student, wrote well, shared in class and followed directions. Then when I had my breakdown the next year, she turned her back on me and stopped talking to me all together, wouldnt answer my emails or anything. It really hurt.

I'm really sorry this happened to you ...I hope you did find someone to talk to during that time though. Thanks for sharing this, and thanks to everyone else as well. I didn't even realize this was a symptom of depression.

I've never had an actual diagnosis of depression, just anxiety. But I've read the symptoms of dysthymia, actually, and I pretty much have most or all of them in some way or another. Some more severe than others, but I can feel them. I have a therapist but right now I'm feeling really disconnected from her. I tell her these things and that I feel my anxiety is getting worse, and she chalks everything up to having a "creative mentality" (I am very much into writing and art - my avatar is a colored pencil drawing I drew from a photo)....hmm

[OurLadysTears]

It has always bothered me when people haven't taken notice when something has been troubling me. Not because I crave the attention, but when it is obvious that someone is going through a hard time, I think the right thing would be for people to reach out and help one another. But anytime anyone has ever tried to help me, I've always shut down and shut them out. I guess I just like the idea that people do care, but I'm afraid of the help.

[Caretaker Leo]

This question brings back so many memories... I remember sitting in my kitchen in total depression and wishing the phone to ring. I couldn't pick it up and call out - I just kept hoping that someone, somewhere would just know that I needed to talk.

In retrospect, I think I was so good at hiding my pain and needs - well how could anyone possibly know that I needed human contact?!?

And I'm still that way today.

[Haunted Reality]

Reminds me of the lyrics to one my all time favorite songs, but like everyone else I'd say try to reach out to someone.

"Beautiful Things"-Andain
Got up early, found something

[Miss Laura]

Hey Indie's Ok,

All the time. Even if I am having a good day I want someone to notice. I left education 8 years ago and I just imagine what my teachers would be like if they did "see" me. Wish someone would notice me good or bad. I also think of people random strangers who "look, seem" nice.... that sounds crazy I know

[Charlie_J]

This is a hard question for me. First of all, I'd like to assure you that your post doesn't come across the way you fear, and that this forum is all about help anyway.

When I was much younger, absolutely yes. Now... I think it's a little different. By which I mean there are things that have happened beyond my control that also affect my mood, and I am living next door to a very cruel man who finds my distress and pain... amusing, and has acted to extend it. I think that these days I wish someone who has some authority would see what is happening and act on my behalf.

One big plus this year is my diagnosis of bipolar. It will now be on my medical record, which will hopefully mean I never again have to see a strange doctor and beg them for antidepressants while they sit there stony faced as if I'd just asked them for regular injections of morphine. My usual doctor is great, and has saved my life several times over the years, but as I keep saying to him - he has to retire someday.

You say you are worse sadness-wise lately, and that you feel disconnected from your therapist. Have you talked to your therapist about dysthymia? Together you could look back over time and see how well it fits yourself. It sounds to me like you know something is amiss, but are having trouble isolating it, which is making it difficult to deal with. Your therapist should definitely be helping with that.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Charlie_J

This is a hard question for me. First of all, I'd like to assure you that your post doesn't come across the way you fear, and that this forum is all about help anyway.

When I was much younger, absolutely yes. Now... I think it's a little different. By which I mean there are things that have happened beyond my control that also affect my mood, and I am living next door to a very cruel man who finds my distress and pain... amusing, and has acted to extend it. I think that these days I wish someone who has some authority would see what is happening and act on my behalf.

One big plus this year is my diagnosis of bipolar. It will now be on my medical record, which will hopefully mean I never again have to see a strange doctor and beg them for antidepressants while they sit there stony faced as if I'd just asked them for regular injections of morphine. My usual doctor is great, and has saved my life several times over the years, but as I keep saying to him - he has to retire someday.

You say you are worse sadness-wise lately, and that you feel disconnected from your therapist. Have you talked to your therapist about dysthymia? Together you could look back over time and see how well it fits yourself. It sounds to me like you know something is amiss, but are having trouble isolating it, which is making it difficult to deal with. Your therapist should definitely be helping with that.

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I have talked to my therapist about dysthymia. She says that if I think it fits, then that might be what it is. I guess what I want is a "legit" diagnosis by a doctor so that I know what I'm really dealing with. I feel like that would confirm my suspicions or give a real name to this thing...when I get responses like this from my T, it just feels like she doesn't believe me or take this seriously. I don't know what I expect her to say or do, I guess.

[dirt69juggalo]

I have a real hard time telling people when I'm suffering so I'd love it if someone would just notice and help me without me having to say something

[Charlie_J]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I guess what I want is a "legit" diagnosis by a doctor so that I know what I'm really dealing with. I feel like that would confirm my suspicions or give a real name to this thing...

I understand exactly what you mean. I really think you should visit your doctor and say that you've been talking it over with your therapist, and that you'd like to know if you are suffering from dysthymia one way or the other. Explain that having a concrete diagnosis would really help in terms of your own recovery (because you'll know what you're struggling with).

Your therapist should be encouraging you to do that IMHO.

You could take a printout of the DSM criteria with you if you're nervous, and point out why you think it fits. It's the same thing the doctor or Pdoc will refer to.

http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disorders/dysd.htm

Good luck! Let me know how you get on

[DespondentDaisy]

I totally get what you're talking about. I think that perhaps people know sometimes that I'm struggling with depression, but then I think/realize that they probably just think I'm wierd(well, at least the ones that don't care or are too busy) The world is too busy, sadly theres a lot of things most people miss. Thugh I think sometimes I think people don't think it's their place to say anything. Like a customer the other day, this old lady, looked hella depressed and my heart went out to her. I stied to engage in conversation with her a bit, but she just looked deflated, so sad. Well, anyways, I forgot my point, other than to say I know the feeling.