depression worsening recently

Nothing has really changed in my life or diet or meds, except restoril which I take at night for restless leg syndrome. I tried not taking it and it didn't affect me so I don't think its that. But the past few days, I have been feeling soooo depressed, as in that gut feeling you get, its like really physical as well as mental. Very tired, even though I cannot sleep (I have been staying up for 24-32 hours and sleeping 4 or 5 hours in between), and I have also had more anxiety lately too. I have also been having IBS, or what I think is that. I wish I knew why I am suddenly feeling so terrible. My meds have been really working before all this. The restoril didn't even help me sleep at all, not even when I took more than the prescribed amount (one time a few days ago I took 7 and still couldn't sleep). I just do not know what's going on, and it's scaring me. I have been thinking about self harm again, but I really don't want to fall into doing that again. I keep getting these bouts where I start freaking out because I'm scared of feeling so bad I won't be able to cope. I think that is the anxiety part of it. But I'm really worried about myself, and most of all want this all to go away. I was sick with strep throat and a viral respiratory infection for a week last week but I don't know how that would affect this, other than maybe making me fatigued from fighting off being sick. I recently got off hydrocodone that I was abusing but that was like a month ago, and didn't have any problems before this past few days, (like 5 days so far). I just don't know what to do about but suffer through it. I see my T on wednesday but that's like 2 days away and I don't even know if i can wait that long however I can't get in sooner. Well I guess 2 days isn't that long. But I don't know if seeing him will even help. He can't just magically make it all go away. I've also been having stomach aches and heart palpitations but I think that's also from the anxiety. I just keep feeling that impending doom, like something bad is going to happen. I guess that's anxiety too, but the depression is just so overwhelming. I still function some. But inside I am terribly miserable, and don't know how much more I can take...

Things that might make my depression worse:
1. moderately serious physical illness...check
2. withdrawal from an addictive med...check
3. sleep deprivation...check
4. anxiety...check
That's a lot crashing down on you at one time. At least one of those should be letting up soon. Could lead to a reverse snowball effect. Pretty good attitude on the "T" thing. Your thoughts are well ordered...very good writing. I'm thinking you can take quite a bit more...but I hope you don't have to
Restless leg syndrome really sucks doesn't it? I would think that would cause problems getting good restful sleep. I think I have a form of it. Only happens when I lie down and try to sleep. Not a convenient time
Do you ever kick? My cats sleep on my bed sometimes. They have learned not to sleep near my feet. Fortunately they learned w/o any serious mishaps
I think that as you recover from the infections you will have more resources available for the emotional struggle. Didn't you used to post some good stuff in the creative corner forum? I haven't been there in a while...maybe I'll check that out.
Take care and hang in there. I don't normally do this but...

I don't kick. My RLS is more pain than anything else. Which is why I started abusing the hydrocodone in the first place... ugh. I move my feet around when I am lying in bed too. But its mostly just the serious achey pain in both entire legs

Ouch. Mine sometimes get sore from all the kicking. I kick hard lol. Makes me worry about the cats. Mine is caused by peripheral neuropathy. And or meds. Doesn't matter much because there's nothing to be done. I'm guessing the restoril didn't help yours?
Do you ever get the prickly ticklish feelings? That happens just before the kicking and jerking begins. And the wiggly toes? Altogether it makes sleep very difficult. As does the anxiety.
When was the last time you slept?

I really think that when you fully recover from the infections you'll feel much better.
I was going through a pretty good period in my life once when I got the flu. Never had the flu before. I laughed about those flu med commercials...the remedies for the minor aches and discomfort of the flu.
LOL. I suspect a lot of people have never actually had the flu. I'd never been that sick before. I got a bacterial infection to boot. Kicked my *** and I had been in excellent shape. Missed two weeks of work.
The end result was bringing on all the old symptoms of depression and severe anxiety. Once I recovered from the flu and infection most of that went away.

I hope that's how it works for you. I recently went through a withdrawal thing. Probably not as bad as yours but bad enough that I can relate somewhat. Take care.

Well I have fully recovered from the infections... Sorry for the misunderstanding. I got better last week.

No, I guess I must have misunderstood you. I thought you said you had strep and a respiratory infection just last week. Those are pretty serious illnesses that would take a while to fully recover from even w/o the added stress of the other issues.
Hanging on and waiting is tough I know. I've done it once or 3 times
Today is Wednesday so you have therapy later today? Do you have friends or family members for support in the meantime? I'd love to help you but I don't seem to be doing it very well. BTW you didn't tell me if that was you who used to write the interesting poems in creative corner. Does that type of activity help?