I am sick of feeling like this

I am getting sick of feeling low, I have been feeling so tired lately that I am in bed by 10.pm

Maybe it is the BPD in me, When I go out I can't wait to get home I get so anxious, Crowds of people annoy me that I panic I hate being like this, I want to be well, I look at other people and they are happy and then there is me whom is sad and lonely

I'm sorry to hear about this I know I may have bad advice but couldn't you do things which you enjoy? You could watch funny films or do a hobby. This could cheer you up. I don't like being around people and I get anxious when I'm out too. About you not being able to sleep, could you try to listen to relaxation videos on Youtube? They help me calm down. Also when you're in bed trying to sleep. You could try to use breathing techniques. When I try to sleep. I think of a place which is nice or I think of random stuff. I count from 100 till downwards in my head. I say 100 and then tell myself to relax and I say the next number and tell myself to relax. This helps me to calm down too. I worry when I try to sleep. I tell myself I shouldn't worry and do the techniques which help me. I'm sorry but my advice is bad. You're not the only one. I am sad and lonely sometimes. Probably a thousand people are lonely. I hope this helps.

Hello, Buttercup!
Maybe, but could it be something else? You are caring for four teenagers and a Westie -- that's taxing. Might you be ill?

Please be as kind to yourself as possible.