[hermit13]

Excuse me if the idea is already done but I thought that maybe I could log on the forum my journey through my depression. The idea came to me when my social worker suggested I would log my thoughts and souvenirs about what made me the person I am today. I think I could write down how I feel as some sort of stress reliever and maybe I could help someone in feeling they are not as alone as they think although I tend to forget this myself.

So here we go.

November 28th 21:51pm

I broke down on friday. I had a disagreement with a co-worker which triggered something in me that got me in a weak emotional state. I felt disrespected by him. I felt as if my argument was not taken into consideration just because I am a regular employee at my workplace. I also got into a panic attack yesterday but it's another story all together. I have been diagnosed depressive for some time now and I have been before when I was 18 or 19. I am 24 now. When I feel emotionally weak, I tend to grow anxious because I don't have the courage to go work, which brings less income, which gets me demoralised and anxious, which gets me emotionally weak. It's a vicious cycle which I struggle with to not let it get over me. There isn't a lot of mental support I get form my immediate surrondings since I fought with many of my close friends for some time now and I am barely patching things up with some of them. Some of them never really understood that depression is not a choice or a lack of courage. It is a legitimate mental illness. I tried several times to explain this to one of them which brushed it as if it was me enjoying being sad. I just gave up entirely trying to explain this to him.
Another friend of mine does understand my condition however since he works in a hospital and his girlfriend had a depression for several years.

Although I ask her for some advice about how to deal with anxiety and depression, I can't seem to be satisfied with whatever tip or ''how she went through it'' segment she gives me. It just never seems enough. I know there maybe isn't some way to at least lighten the pain depression and anxiety gives me but I keep searching for it and I often dissappointed when I find something that more or less works for me. I just want anything that could help me make things a little easier that I can apply when need be. Let it be a panic attack on ''the blues'' depression gives me when something drags me down.

I just want to be happy and make things easier of myself.

[jitters]

I think it's a great idea to write down what you're feeling. I haven't journaled in a while, but when I did it helped me process my emotions. Did you know you can start a blog here?

I just had a peek at the blogs section, hoping to get more info for you, and it looks like you have to be a member for at least one month. So I guess it's something you could look forward to doing here...?