[Psychochick]

It's so strange--as a child (and even later!), the holidays were my very favorite time of year, especially Christmas. Yes, I admit I loved the presents and the good food, but it was more than that. It seemed magical. The Christmases I spent with my family are some of my happiest memories. Even when I did get into screaming fights with my cousins, lol!

Now I dread the holidays, particularly--you guessed it!--Christmas. I feel soooo lonely at Christmas. (Also, altho I've never been diagnosed with it, I suspect I might have a mild form of Seasonal Affective Disorder.) My dad died 3 years ago from Alzheimer's , so now it's just my dear 84-year-old mom, my beloved 2-year-old kitty, and me. Our nearest relatives live 250 miles away--we used to visit my grandparents every Christmas but all of them are gone now. So usually we celebrate Christmas at home.

Also I have no brothers or sisters, I am 56, unmarried and have no children. I always feel like I got left out somehow--virtually everyone I know has been married and has kids and even grandchildren now--I usually feel miserable around Christmas-time. I know I'm lucky to have a good home, and my mom and kitty, but then I start worrying about "What will I do once they too are gone??" I don't think I could bear it!!!

I know a lot of ppl feel glum around the holidays. How do you deal with those feelings? Is there anything you do that makes you feel better?

I would welcome any and all suggestions because I want to be able to enjoy Christmas again!!

[Betty_Banana]

I don't have any suggestions, I just wanted to say that I can relate to dreading holidays,especially Christmas.

I find it kind of fascinating when people talk about holidays as a child because I don't remember any. My husband will tell holiday stories from his childhood and sometimes I feel a little envious that he has those good memories.

Holidays are hard. I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in, like I'm not really participating. Like I'm just going through the motions. I don't feel any joy or pain, I feel nothing. And it really sucks because I am missing out.

[jitters]

I've managed to hit early middle age friendless, childless, husband/boyfriendless, with just my two kitties comprising my little family, so I think I understand what you're dealing with. Members of my peer group are married with kids and haven't gotten to the grandkids stage yet, but I'm definitely on the outside looking in from a social perspective.

Extended family isn't always a blessing...I have aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., but I never see them because they're even loonier than I am

I don't have any advice for you, but feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to chat with someone who's in a similar situation.