[thetheft]

Every few days I get these flashbacks of the breakup. All 3 actually, seeing as they were in like, days of each other.
The first one; how he was acting, the way he told me what he had done, the look in his eyes that I knew wasnt right, his behavior that had me mire scared than sad.
The second one; the real one, the phone call at midnight, the sound o his voice, the meaningless and random reason.
And the third one; the real goodbye, the look on his face, the way he avoided looking me in the eyes, watching him text while I was sobbing, "don't cry, your eyes are so beautiful when you cry".

But it's over, it has been for months now... But somehow I can't stop reliving those days...

[Fuzzybear]

[jitters]

I find that whenever I ruminate about a sad event in my personal history, or a string of events such as relationship failures, it's because I'm looking for confirmation that I'm hopeless and doomed to never experience success in, e.g., my relationships with others. Truth be told, it isn't really me. It's Depression talking. She's an evil b**** that sits on your shoulder and whispers terrible things in your ear whenever you start to feel hopeful about life. It's her job to bring you as low as she can. Your job is to fight her to the best of your abilities and try to take away her purpose for existence.

CBT skills would be extremely helpful here. Do you have Cognitive Behavioral Therapy experience?

[thetheft]

I dont, actually. I dont have much experience with any type of therapy. I only went like, 4 times.

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by thetheft

I dont, actually. I dont have much experience with any type of therapy. I only went like, 4 times.

Relationship issues and depression go hand in hand.

I've recently lost my girlfriend of over 10 years and when I think about her and the times she was there to comfort me then realize she isn't with me anymore feels like a heart attack (because my anxiety builds up and it feels like I'm about to die).

I'm learning that the anxiety is triggered by me facing reality that she's gone... but I'm somewhat wanting to be exposed to this pain in hopes that I'll heal faster.

I know you're in a lot of pain right now but it'll get better... once you learn to take care of yourself, finding the right guy that will stick by you will make it all worthwhile.