[dismantle.repair]

I've changed meds. AGAIN.
These are a bit less effective, but I can handle the adverse effects better.
But I'm tired of this.
I'm tired of disappointing myself.
I'm pathetic.
I'm still struggling through school.... And I know I have no valid reason to feel anything close to this.
I have a good life. Am I ungrateful?
Why can't I see anything as great and wonderful like everyone else can? I feel like a freak.
I can't seem to do anything right... I might fail my university classes.
The only time I could've taken off my mask a bit was in front of a couple of my roomates... and I've apparently pissed them off so much that they've told me they're fed up.
I just want this to be over... Why won't this just be over?

[gypsyprincess]

Originally Posted by dismantle.repair

I've changed meds. AGAIN.
These are a bit less effective, but I can handle the adverse effects better.
But I'm tired of this.
I'm tired of disappointing myself.
I'm pathetic.
I'm still struggling through school.... And I know I have no valid reason to feel anything close to this.
I have a good life. Am I ungrateful?
Why can't I see anything as great and wonderful like everyone else can? I feel like a freak.
I can't seem to do anything right... I might fail my university classes.
The only time I could've taken off my mask a bit was in front of a couple of my roomates... and I've apparently pissed them off so much that they've told me they're fed up.
I just want this to be over... Why won't this just be over?

Wow, I totally could have written this. and that's why i dont have roommates, so that I wont have to piss them off too.

Is this one of those mood swing moments or are you constantly, and i mean literally constantly, feeling like this?

I have major highs and major lows and this is what my lows sound like.

[blitzersun]

some of the things u say are a bit hard on your self, in reality, your not pathetic... no person anywhere is soley defined as pathetic people are many things and im sure you have many great qualities. dont tell yourself these sorts of negative things, u need to have a realistic perspective of everything. for example, u cant seem to do anything right... really there must be stuff u can do right.. remember you feel how u think.. try telling yourself you have always room for improvement at some things and when you do improve tell yourself exactly that!

[dismantle.repair]

I dont really have highs and lows... Just lows and... averages? =S