[Katwoman4]

I have been living with "dysthimia" for a lifetime. 2 years ago I was hospitalized for major depression disorder. Medication was adjusted all well etc.

I seem to be in a bad depressive dip. I am very angry and irritated. Today I chopped off my hair while in a rage. It was like I couldn't help myself from doing it and I did not care about consequences. I have new insurance and do not have a therapist. I will have a new psychiatrist as of 12/22.

Any thoughts on keeping the rage at bay?

Kate

[HalfSwede]

Originally Posted by Katwoman4

Any thoughts on keeping the rage at bay?

Kate

I've been hospitalized twice myself. You might not want to try this just yet, but my suggestion (and it's only a suggestion) is to try to find a way to look that rage straight in the face and figure out where it's coming from. I've found that, to do that, I need some kind of "container" to put the rage in, so it doesn't go all over the place, and I can step back and look at it from a safe distance.

I think I've pretty much identified all the sources of my rage, which has taken me years to do. Sometimes it still feels like it's going to take over again, but these days I seem to be able to let it pass over me relatively harmlessly. I would also say (again, only a suggestion) be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to get through this.

One of the sources of my anger is the feeling that I'm being ignored, and the thing about dysthymia is that no one notices me because they're too busy dealing with the people who are totally out of control, so I look relatively normal, and my problem festers. They only notice me when I boil over and throw a nutty. Hopefully, that sounds somewhat familiar to you.

Best, HS

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Katwoman4! I have a few questions, but please don't feel pressured to answer.

Originally Posted by Katwoman4

It was like I couldn't help myself from doing it and I did not care about consequences.

• How often do these "rage episodes" happen?
• Do they only happen when you are in a depressive low?
• Is there any pattern to their occurrence?

[Katwoman4]

Hi, I will answer the best I can, but my memory seems rather vague.
Rage occurs less and less frequently, like maybe every other month or so it starts with irritability and builds over a few days. I am having difficulty identifying a trigger or a pattern.
Irritability I can not shake does however coincide with depressive lows.

[turquoisesea]

I wouldn't be surprised that depression is related to rage - for me it's harder for me to control anything when depressed and maybe that includes feelings/rage as well?

Maybe you need to find a way of breaking the cycle early on. If this is going over several days maybe you need a saafe healthy outlet for this rage