[clouds_and_sun]

I was wondering if anyone here is like this:
See I have this one offline friend (she is my only offline friend) and we use to be best friends but she has changed (and I guess in some ways I have too). But when she gets in a snappy mood (she never admits to it, she can do no wrong cause she never admits to doing any wrong) it affects me and I tell her to go away. I don't like being around people who are in that type of mood.
It could be my current boss, to one the boarders in this home to my only offline friend. When they are nasty, bitter, critical, snappy and/or sour I want them clear away from me, their mood gets to me.
Yes, I am hypersensitve to a lot of things so I was wondering if this has baring as to why other's affect me badly.
Someone once told me that it is a "co-depandant" issue, I am kind-of confused to that.
Maybe you all can explain all of this to me:
Do other's mood affect you? If so, how do you deal with it?
In your opinion, why is it that other's moods affect me (or you), psychologically speaking?
In your opinion, do you think I am handling my only friend in the right manner as in telling her to leave me alone especially when she denies her nasty behavior (she is one who can do no wrong)?
I look foward to your kind responces.
Thank you

[Shadow-world]

Hello clouds_and_sun,

yes, I feel that other people's moods affect me as well. I would think that this is quite natural, as we are social beings and thus interact with others and also partly define ourselves through others. I don't think that it is odd in any way.

I suppose if anybody's mood can have a huge impact on you, it might get too much. I find that if I feel quite stable and have a certain sense of equanimity, I am slightly less affected by other people's moods, whereas when I am anxious I depend more on other people's approval, which also involves picking up on their moods quickly and being very much affected by them.
I'm a lot more affected by people and their moods who I see a lot like work colleagues.

I think most people would probably say that they are most affected by the moods of those people they care most about. I suppose if it's like this, it's not bad thing, as it shows that people can feel empathy and understand others and thus develop sensitivities.

I don't know whether that helps.

I hope you keep well.

Hugs from Shadow-world

[clouds_and_sun]

((Shadow)) Your words have helped out a lot.

[Fuzzybear]

[Rohag]

Yes, I "catch" other people's moods frequently. I've been informally trying to figure out why and have come to focus my research on family patterns of communication during my childhood. One way of looking at this is somehow during my upbringing I came to assume responsibility for other people's feelings. I consequently developed "spongy" personal boundaries which allow other people to unexpectedly "get to me."

I'm still groping for answers but it all may be moot for I've largely withdrawn from society.

I wish you better success!

[unaluna]

Why are you looking at it as a weakness of yours, that you don't care to be around someone who is being disrespectful to you? This seems like a sign of growth to me, and may eventually help you attract more "offline friends" (is that a new term?!).

[TEESA25]

Yes, definitely to your question. I am very close to my husband and since we were married 6 yrs ago he has undergone numerous health problems and depression with no answers and very little help. He is basically slipping away and it is a very hard thing to watch. When he is happy, I am happy. And vice versa. What is happening to him physically is also happening to me inside. In that I am just like you, when I connect myself to someone, I can't just let go but feel as they do.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Yes, I "catch" other people's moods frequently. I've been informally trying to figure out why and have come to focus my research on family patterns of communication during my childhood. One way of looking at this is somehow during my upbringing I came to assume responsibility for other people's feelings. I consequently developed "spongy" personal boundaries which allow other people to unexpectedly "get to me."

I'm still groping for answers but it all may be moot for I've largely withdrawn from society.

I wish you better success!