I love my friend to pieces, but lately she's been using me as an example all the time to make herself look better. Like she was arguing with a friend and she used me, by saying that at least she hasn't put everyone through as much as I have and stuff. Then she always looks down on me and makes me feel crappy. Everyone around me is through with her because she's a horrible person, but she saved my life literally last year when I tried to commit sui, so now it's as if I owe her and can't turn my back on her like everyone else. It's not that she's that awful, it's just she's very... opinionated and needs constant attention and admiration. I just know she never turned her back on me through everthing, but then at the same time shes making me feel awful and i dont no if its best for my own sanity and mental health to stay clear of her. I dont no. Im just confused.

[pgrundy]

People outgrow friends just like they outgrow clothes. If a friend is so high maintenance that she leaves you feeling bad about yourself, it might be good to make some new friends and be less available to her. You don't owe her a lifelong friendship on her terms just because she was there for you when you were suicidal, and she should not hold that over your head. Any decent person would be there for you, so don't let make you feel indebted.

If she asks why you aren't there so much, tell her honestly why. If she's a true friend she'll try to be better to you. If she isn't, let her go. You don't need that.

[likewater]

I agree with pgrundy. I'm glad the friend saved your life, but thst doesn' t give her license to make the rest of your life miserable. You have outgrown her.

[kaliope]

pgrundy gives you very wise advice. your mental health and sanity comes first. i gave up my own family to protect mine. its simple, people who love you shouldnt hurt you. shes hurting you. theres no excuse for abuse. you need to separate yourself from that. you, are your number one priority.

[clouds_and_sun]

I have to agree with everyone's advice given. That is so awesome that you are okay and she saved your life, but in NO WAY does that mean she should treat you or anyone like dirt. My only offline friend can be the same way, she knows I don't drive cause of a phobia so she knows I have no way of getting around AND she knows I have social phobia but she nearly panics when she finds out that I am making friends online cause she feels that she needs to control me, BUT I will not allow her, I assume she feels that she is using my phobia's for her power, THAT IS NOT a real friend, I think that is toxic, same in your situation. NOW, HOPEFULLY your friend is not like my friend and she can admit to doing wrong, IF SO I would try to save the friendship and have a heart to heart talk with her HOPEFULLY she will see that you are right that she should NOT treat you like dirt cause she saved your life or for ANY reason! You are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. HOPEFULLY your friendship can be saved IF NOT know that this is NOT your fault. I hope that I have helped (((hugs)))
PLEASE keep us all updated!

[ECHOES]

I think it would be good to take a quiet moment and tell her again how grateful you are for her caring for you when you were not able to care for yourself, and that you'll never forget that. Tell her you are so glad to have moved past that because it was such a difficult time. Tell her you like to focus on moving forward.
Let that sink in - it was in the past, you are grateful, but it needs to stay in the past.

Then tell her that because your friendship is special, you need to talk to her about some things happening now, that are very hurtful to you that just can't continue. Ask her for her help in how to change what is happening. It's possible she just doesn't realize that the things she says are so hurtful.

If it doesn't work, then I would then consider shifting your friendship so there is more distance between you.

Thanks guys! I think were at a more distanced relationship whede we only talk if we see eachother like in passing. Its better that way. Thanks for the advice ~jess x