[PurplePrince]

I have recently split from my girlfriend as she needed to start councelling for the numerous bad thing's that has happened to her in previous relationship's...when she told me she said "I need to do this alone and my coucellor has suggested we finish" i asked her if she ever had any feeling's for me to which she replied "I can't lie and say i never felt anything for you...you need to find someone who deserve's you and you can't wait for me 'cos i might never be right" i said i'd wait as long as i need to (i really do love her) and she said "that's too much pressure...forget me find yourself a good woman"...I FOUND HER...and since this conversation i have not been sleeping because she's in my dream's i can't eat 'cos i just wanna throw up, the thing's i used to love doing (even before i met her) have no interest to me at all...i'm depressed and quiet (usually i was the wise-cracker) my friend's have noticed ...and everytime they ask i snap at them and tell them to leave me alone, i'm pushing them away at a time when i need them most and i can't stop myself...the last thing i said to her was a promise not to tell anyone about her councelling (we have the same circle of friend's) i tried lying and saying it finished because i "was being an a**hole" none of my friend's believe this but they keep pushing for the truth and i need to talk about it but i CAN'T break my promise...everytime i come close to twlling i burn my arm with the tip of a lighter...it hurt's but is a fraction of the pain she'd feel if i ever told...i feel alone, numb ...like i've give up on life and just gonna sit and let nature take it course...my burning's are getting more and more frequent and other more dangerous thought's are creeping into my mind ...i'm worried and i need help but i can't ask my friend's (what's left of them) ...i'm stuck and i've give up and i don't know how to dust myself off...anyone help?

[MrsBee]

You must realize, you can't force somebody to have feelings for you if they just aren't there. The most important thing i would suggest to you is realize that there is more than likely somebody else out there that would give you the "feelings" that you deserve.

You deserve a relationship that is going to be equal, you give and get back (emotion wise). Your ex seems like she has too many bugs in her bonnet to really focus time and feelings on you anyways...

[Aardwolf]

Welcome to PC Purple Prince,
I understand the frustration and the mixed bag of goodies that come with this situation, I've been there not too long ago myself.
I don't know exactly what will work for you specifically, however I can say that you will alomst go through something similar to a grieving process if she is set in her ways.
If you know for a fact that this is not reversible, then you need to start working around the obstacles in your head to try and find a way out. I'm not going to lie, it may well be a very, very long process for yourself.
How long had you been going out with her for ?
As Mrs Bee quite rightly says, If she doesn't have the feelings anymore then there's nothing you can realistically do.

The best I can advise right now is to try and look after yourself, YOU are number one in your life, I know you'll say that she is/was your life, however you need to be selfish and you deserve to be kind to yourself. Like myself you self harm, and I would try and nip it in the bud now. Do you have a history of self harm ?

I can't tell you how to go around making progress inside yourself, only you know how to do that. Although I'm not a religious person myself, could you find a priest, rabbi, monk, elder or just a councillor who you could take your feelings to and speak with ?

Congrats on making the step to coming here and sharing your experience, it may be daunting, feel free to express yourself while your here, this is a safe community.

[Aardwolf]

bumpedy bump