[littlebearbear]

I’ve never experienced so many bad things in one year. My health is going down hill, I suffered from stomach ulcer for a few months, and discovered while I was sick my husband of 10 years cheated on me. All of a sudden, it feels like my life has been broken into pieces, I don’t know how I can put it together again. I have no one to talk to. I have to pretend nothing happened at work but I cannot concentrate doing my normally work because I cannot stop thinking about all the bad things that happened to me. I don’t want to end the marriage because I love that man so much even though he hurt me so badly. Sometimes I just want to end my life, but I know I can’t because I still have to take care of my two young kids. I don’t know what I to do.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Littlebearbear!

• declining general health
• stomach ulcer
• marital infidelity & associated relationship turmoil
• lack of support (no one to talk to)
• inability to concentrate
• intrusive thoughts
• suicidal thoughts
• being overwhelmed
• the holidays and associated stresses

That's a soup with lots of nasty ingredients. With so much hitting you all at once I believe you may need to locate practical support. Does your situation permit seeking some sort of assistance or counsel (for example, 2-1-1 in the US)?

[Severijn]

Hi littlebearbear.

Like rohag said you have a lot to deal with at the moment. One way to deal with this is by taking a lot of rest. Just keeping stress low can make you feel better. But it's also possible that by not doing anything you will start to feel worse. I don't know what the best course is for you the coming weeks and months, but just be aware of this. It's either the one or the other that's the best for you to deal with this.

I take it your life was going alright, until all kinds of bad things happened to you. So you have hit a new bad pivotal moment in your life. So the skills and habits you had until this moment were probably enough to deal with life, but now they are not adequate anymore.

So yes, seeking out some kind of professional help is a good step. That's support on the outside and I think it's important now for you. You could talk to a therapist or find a psychiatrist that might prescribe medications for you (these meds can only be temporary to help you through a difficult phase).

You yourself can also do some things independently from other people. The things that come to mind are reading some self-help books about the issues you are dealing with. Perhaps your local bookstore has a self-help section, or otherwise online bookstores are an option. Also, online you can find many articles about some issues; Google is very useful for this. Another thing that might help you cope better with all your troubles is doing exercise 3 times per week. This might help you get your mind off depressing thoughts and make you feel better.

Well take care and I hope new sunny days will come to you in the future again.

[maynardssillygirl]

I would attend a support group for women and go to a one on one couselor. There are always sliding scale clinics for people with low incomes, and I think they have more genuine workers.