Optimism fading

I try to be positive but man sometimes I feel like the world's biggest fraud

brief overview of my situation

My brother died a few years ago from a drug overdose, before then I did not really have a care in the world and never took anything very seriously. Since then I feel like a completely different person. I'm 27 and never had a real serious girlfriend to speak of. I'm shy by nature with people I don't know and so drinking always seemed like a good way to grow some courage. Problem is I get real carried away with drinking and that makes me feel really guilty the next day. Not interested in seeing my old friends(most of which drink too much) and i'm not able to make any genuine new friends.

Only positive thing I can think of is that I am well educated and close to making a decent living for myself, but whats the point if you can't share it with anyone

I feel stuck and its hard for me to imagine how any of this will change

I just feel like life gets progressively more ****** each year, more responsibility and less time to relax.

The Holidays are not helping either

First of all, I am sorry you experienced the pain of death when you were so young. Your brother's untimely death must have catipulted you out of the very normal stage of innocence into serious grieving. Makes perfect sense that alcohol temporarily dulls the pain but in the long haul only delays the grieving work.

When I feel "stuck" I ask myself two questions: What am I getting that I'm not wanting? And what am I wanting that I'm not getting? Therein is the boundary work, for we either let those in without wanting to or we don't share our needs with others and give them a chance to help. We stay off balance until we cooperate with the healthier ways of good-feeling connection.

There are many in the village trained to assist you when you are ready. Getting to know yourself and letting others in on the privilege is a hoot! The journey is worth it because so are you! Susan Quinn